The Birdcage
by The Black Flamingo101
Summary: Misaki and Shinobu have the wildest and weirdest Saturday night of their lives when they mistakenly end up at a drag club and get involved with a angsty transvestite and a conniving mob boss. It's gonna be a long and strange night. All couples appear. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Yay! New story! And boy oh boy is it gonna be fun ;D

So this fic is loosely (VERY loosely) based off one of my favorite movies "The Birdcage," which is about a drag club owned by a gay couple and their son. And if you like LGBT movies, it's an absolute must. Robin Williams and Nathan Lane play the gay couple and they are fucking HILARIOUS. And since I have very obsessive tendencies, naturally I had to do a fic about it :)

So I hope you all enjoy and drop a review! Happy reading :) Get ready for some twists and turns ;D

**TBF101**

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><p><strong>The Birdcage<strong>

**Chapter One: I Smell A Rabbit**

Misaki's chocolate head lifted up from his textbook as he heard the familiar sound of the doorbell. He quickly leapt out of his chair and jogged over to the front entrance of Usagi's apartment, opening up the door.

His eyes lit up as he saw Shinobu standing in the hall.

"Hi, Takatsuki-kun," Misaki greeted warmly. "Come on in."

"Thanks Takahashi." The blonde replied, stepping into the apartment and taking off this shoes.

"Would you like coffee or tea?" Misaki asked as the two headed over to the dinning room table.

"Coffee." Shinobu replied, shrugging off his backpack and taking a few notebooks out of it. The brunette came back to the room shortly with two mugs, setting them down and taking a seat by the blonde.

"Do you have those notes from Hanazuki's class? I missed the lecture on Thursday because Miyagi slept through his alarm." Shinobu asked, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Mhmm." Misaki affirmed, flipping through a nearby notebook. Once he found the page, he handed it to Shinobu, who began to copy down the handwritten notes while Misaki went back to reading.

Although it was Saturday evening and many of the students at Mitsuhashi university were out partying like the world was about to end, the two young men were very content to stay at Usagi's apartment and study. And this activity had started to become a habit that resulted from an unlikely friendship.

The two had attended the same college for quite some time, but had only met very recently. Misaki and Shinobu had taken the same math class for the quarter, and as always, Misaki was doing poorly and Shinobu seemed to get top marks just by breathing. The professor noticed this and had suggested that perhaps the two could study together. However, neither of them were exactly keen on the idea, as Shinobu struck Misaki as bad tempered, and Misaki struck Shinobu as a moron.

But all of that changed the day Misaki had a dreadful appointment with Professor Kamijou, and accidentally walked in on Shinobu and another literature professor named Miyagi doing the unspeakable on an office couch. Furious beyond belief, Shinobu (after they were done of course) had hunted down the brunette and railed on him about not knocking and being a shithead. Not wanting to get into a fight, Misaki quickly apologized, but Shinobu just kept yelling until tears formed in the corners of his eyes. Sensing how deeply embarrassed the blonde was, Misaki had tried again to calm him down and during the process let loose a small comment about his own troubles with a horny rabbit.

Needless to say, a stunned Shinobu and a blushing Misaki soon found that they had more in common than they thought. And after an extremely awkward outing talk, the boys were surprised that they actually didn't mind each other's company…somewhat, at least. Though they couldn't deny that having the common denominator of an older (and somewhat irritating) lover bonded the two immensely.

Shortly afterwards, Shinobu had offered to help Misaki out with homework. (And after a brief discussion of Misaki's hobbies, demanded that Misaki teach him how to cook in exchange.)

And nearly a month later, both parties were extremely glad for each other's assistance. And what's more, they were actually starting to become good friends (minus a few minor disagreements on manga vs. literature).

The two started out their evening with a bit of light studying (with frequent breaks for Misaki's poor non academic mind) and then went into the kitchen to cook their dinner. Shinobu watched Misaki's seemingly effortless skills in the kitchen week after week, and had found new respect for the person he'd perceived to be cognitively dull.

"Do I add the fish now?" Shinobu asked.

"Yeah, but add a little water into the pan first."

"Why?" Shinobu raised an eyebrow.

"See how the oil is starting to burn and crust?" Misaki pointed. "It'll scald the fish. A bit of water will dissolve it."

"Oh." Shinobu said in slight surprise. He did as Misaki said and was pleased when the fish began to sizzle pleasantly in the pan.

"So where's your author tonight?" The blonde asked, adding a careful amount of soy sauce to the dish.

"I'm not quite sure." Misaki replied, checking on the batch of rice. "He says he's out doing 'research for a book.'"

Shinobu raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"That could mean anything."

"I know." Misaki replied. "And he's been out almost every night this week. I've barely even seen him except in the mornings."

Shinobu's gaze darkened.

"Think he could be cheating on you?"

"What!" Misaki whirled around in shock. "N—No way! Usagi—er Usami-san wouldn't be out doing something like…that."

"Are you sure?" Shinobu pressed. "Because this all sounds pretty suspicious."

"No way." Misaki said, shaking his head. "He wouldn't…"

Shinobu still looked wary, but dropped the subject as the two continued to cook. But after the boys sat down and began to eat, the blonde saw Misaki's eyes look nervously over at him.

"Takatsuki-kun…do you really think Usami…would cheat?"

"I don't know Takahashi. I've only met him briefly." Shinobu replied. In truth Shinobu didn't voice the fact that he was extremely distrustful of handsome, older men. He often said that he didn't trust them as far as he could throw them, which despite the fact that he was a division tennis champion, wasn't very far. But seeing as how Misaki was a little timid, the blonde at least had enough sense not to scare the living hell out of him.

Even still, he had to voice at least a portion of his blunt thoughts.

"Has he been acting strangely lately? Anything unusual?"

Misaki shrugged, growing more flustered at the possibility.

"I…I don't know."

Shinobu sighed, immediately sensing that this wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"Well then, there's only one thing to do. We'll have to follow him."

"Follow him?" Misaki said in disbelief. "And… 'we'?"

Shinobu nodded.

"Guys who cheat on their boyfriends are scumbags, and I'm not about to let one walk free. That is…if he is cheating. Does he have a cell phone?"

Misaki nodded.

"Call him and ask him where he's going tonight."

With a small grunt, the brunette took out his cell phone and speed dialed the author. Within a few rings, the man picked up.

"Misaki, what's wrong?" He said, irrationally assuming the worst.

"Oh er—nothing Usagi-san," Misaki stammered out. "I just…um called to see where you were going to be tonight…you've…been out a lot this week."

"I know. The research is taking longer than I thought. I'm at the Teito hotel right now, but I don't know exactly where we are going next. Aikawa hasn't told me. I probably won't be back till late, so don't wait up for me."

"Oh…okay." Misaki murmured. "I'll see you later then…"

"Alright. Love you. Bye."

The author hung up and Misaki glanced at Shinobu, who had craned his neck over to hear the conversation.

"Hmm." The blonde mused. If that phone call wasn't suspicious, Shinobu vowed to eat his own cabbage.

"What do you think?" Misaki asked hesitantly. Shinobu raised his chin haughtily in reply.

"I think we should go out for Saturday evening Takahashi, have you got an extra pair of sneakers?"

"Yeah." Misaki replied.

"Alright then, let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

****Thank you all for your enthusiasm with this fic! :D I promise it will be lots of fun lolololol.

For me that is XD

Enjoy! Love you all!

TBF101

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Nancy Drewing<strong>

"How much farther is it?" Shinobu asked as the two walked down the lit streets of Tokyo. The sun had set long ago, but it wasn't that late yet.

"Just up the street." Misaki replied, peering ahead. After Shinobu had announced that rabbit hunting was now in season, the two had changed into jeans and sneakers and had headed straight to Teito hotel. The two chatted every now and then as they rode the train, mostly consisting of Shinobu reassuring/unknowingly scaring Misaki with his talk of them catching Usami with his hand in the cheating jar. And as they drew nearer to their destination, Misaki could feel a bit of panic rising in his chest.

Would Usagi, the man who said "I love you" like a broken record really be out chasing some new cottontail? The thought made Misaki swallow hard. However, there was a tiny, tiny piece of reason in the back of his mind that suggested that perhaps Shinobu was just overly paranoid, but that piece had gone relatively unheard over the commotion of Misaki's denial battling with a sudden unconscious urge to choke Usagi with his own tie.

Once the hotel was in clear view, the two increased their steps, but when Misaki was about to cross the street and head for the entrance, Shinobu grabbed him and tugged them both behind a parked car.

"Idiot! Don't just go right up to the building! He might see you!" The honey blonde shrieked.

Misaki raised an eyebrow, but nodded, peering over the hood of the car with caution. The two scoped the hotel entrance for a few minutes, hardly aware that they were getting some strange looks from other passersby's.

Misaki glanced down at his watch nearly ten minutes later, but the second he took his eyes away, Shinobu gasped.

"Oh my god! There he is!" Shinobu eeped, pointing frantically down the street.

"Where!" Misaki cried, poking his head around the front of the car.

"There!" Shinobu yelled. "He just got into a taxi! We have to follow him!"

"Wait! Are you even sure it's him?"

"Is he tall with gray hair and wearing a dark suit?"

"Well yeah but—"

"Then there's no time!" Shinobu yelled, grabbing Misaki's hand and towing him away.

"Where are we going?" The brunette wailed, already regretting their little trip out.

"We're gonna put the pedal to the metal and follow that damn car!" Shinobu yelled, dragging Misaki down the street and into a yellow cab.

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><p>"Takatsuki-kun, we're lost." Misaki sighed, glancing up once again at the nearest street sign.<p>

"No were not…we just…are a little misplaced." Shinobu replied, his previous spark somewhat drained by their current situation.

"Misplaced is a synonym of lost!" Misaki moaned. Shinobu's eyes momentarily went wide. Huh, this kid really wasn't as dumb as he looked. Sometimes.

"Well I swear he got out of the cab at this stop," Shinobu said, running a hand through his blonde mop. "And if he was going to go anywhere out here then…he'd probably head that way." He deduced, pointing down to the end of a perpendicular street that was flashing with multi colored lights.

"I don't know." Misaki said skeptically. "He could've gone in any direction."

"Don't be such a negative nancy," Shinobu retorted, taking Misaki's hand and towing him down the street. "Even if he's not down there, the people at those places can tell us what else is down here. Come on."

Misaki sighed, but gave in to the younger boy's determination, heading down the street with him. But ever so slowly, the two of them quietly noticed that they were holding hands. After a quick glance tinted with a huge blush, they released their grip, neither of them commenting on the action (outwardly at least).

As the two rounded the corner and walked towards a brightly light club, they noticed a crowd of people meandering outside. They continued on, passing several people who were going in the opposite direction. The two college boys couldn't help but steal a glance as a group of three women, who were decked out in tight dresses, high heels, glittering jewelry, and flowing locks strutted past them haughtily. And as they got nearer to the flashing club, they noticed even more women around, each one more bedazzled than the last. However, as they glanced around the crowd, Shinobu couldn't help but furrow his brows. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was just something…_off_ about all these girls.

Apparently Misaki noticed as well because as another sparkling group passed them, the brunette leaned over to whisper into his friend's ear.

"Wow, all these women are kinda tall." He commented in slight awe. "And big."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, they are." Shinobu replied, his forehead creasing even more as the enigma grew. But his mind was taken off the subject as they finally made it to the entrance to the club, where a giant, blinking sign read "The Birdcage" in curling gold letters.

Misaki cocked his head, craning his neck back to see the sign better.

"That's a weird name for a club." He murmured. Shinobu shrugged, knowing neither of them were experienced enough in Saturday nightlife to make any assumptions. Even still, he privately agreed.

"Think they'll let us in?" Misaki asked, nodding at a nearby bouncer who guarded the floor with eagle eyes. Shinobu swallowed, but took a deep breath and walked forward with the enormity of all his faux confidence. Misaki followed, and bit his lip nervously as they approached the door. Sure enough, the bouncer picked them out as they maneuvered through the crowd, and watched as they approached, a slight grin playing at his lips.

But for all his determination, Shinobu found his step weakening under the gaze of the towering, lean man who had two, muscled tan arms crossed over his chest. The two stopped just short of the red carpet that led inside, as if an invisible barrier cut them off. Their eyes flickered back and forth between the carpet and the bouncer's eyes, and were just about to turn tail when the tan giant chuckled. His eagle eyes softened slightly at the sight of the two youngins, and the slightest sway of his trim hips could be seen as he flashed them a white grin.

"Wanna come inside sweeties?" He smiled, craning his neck towards the door. But although his tone was a bit condescending, there was a soft warmth there that put the two scared-out-of-their-minds college boys at ease.

"Uh…thanks." Shinobu said, quickly bowing with Misaki. The bouncer smiled again and gestured towards the door. The two boys exchanged a thrilled/relieved/OMFG-I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-WE-ACTUALLY-GOT-IN look as they walked inside, but the second they walked into "The Birdcage," they felt their eyes go wide and their mouths drop.

Inside the buzzing, busy club were several stages that were decorated with more lights and several performers in skimpy, glittery outfits.

But despite the fact that they were dressed in long hair and tons of makeup, the boys immediately noticed one key difference.

They were all men.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Saturday Night Hive**

"Oh my god!" Misaki squeaked out in a quiet whisper. "We're in…we're in—"

"A drag club." Shinobu swallowed, his gray eyes wider than beach balls. The two boys stood awkwardly, trying not to stare two widely at the menagerie of dolled up men that were rubbing and grinding against each other and downing expensive booze. There were a ton of normally dressed men as well, plenty of whom were gathered in dark corners of the club making out and doing…other things.

The two very sheltered, very awkward, very naïve college boys couldn't help but stand in complete silence for an undetermined amount of time just taking in all the shinning…weirdness. And once they were (mostly) over their predominant shock, Shinobu glanced over at Misaki and gave a small shrug.

"Well…could your author be writing an…*okama novel?"

Misaki slightly titled his head, grimacing slightly as a passing tranny's feather boa brushed against him.

"I don't even know anymore."

"Well," Shinobu murmured quietly. "We came all the way here. We might as well check it out right?"

"Yeah…I—I guess."

"Look," Shinobu pointed. "There's a empty booth in that corner back there. Let's go sit down and just keep an eye out."

The small blonde's confidence beginning to rub off on him (plus the fact that he'd actually gotten into a club in the first place), Misaki smiled and nodded, following Shinobu as they slinked their way over to the far dark corner. However, as they passed the bar, it proved to be difficult to stay together, as the pressing groups of people hardly left room for even the petite boys to squeeze through. When he had almost gotten his way out of a cackle of dancing trannys with Indian style clothes, Misaki tripped over someone's foot and stumbled face first into suited man built like a tank. Said tank immediately turned around and glared at the boy with cold, stern eyes.

Fear draining the color from his face, Misaki quickly bowed.

"I'm so sorry! Please excuse me!"

A shiver ran down Misaki's spine as the guard said nothing, but took a step towards him. Shinobu, having taken the high road and avoiding the larger crowds caught up to them at that moment, and he immediately dug into his reservoir of defiant spunk.

"Excuse us." He said, his gray eyes narrowing. The man's eyes drifted slowly over to him, but he didn't stop his approach.  
>"I believe apologies are in order." The huge man finally spoke in a monotone voice that made Shinobu bristle and Misaki clench in fear.<p>

"I…I did…apologize." The brunette stuttered, backing away as much as he could.

"It'll take more than that." The black-eyed man replied. "And your friend can join you."

Shinobu was just about to bark back when a clear voice caught the tank's attention.

"Dai-kun, just who are you shouting at?"

The man immediately pivoted on his heel and turned, and as he moved out of the way, Misaki and Shinobu glimpsed at the one who had spoken. Just a few booths away sat a large, handsome man in an expensively tailored suit and a subtle smile. He sat alone in the booth, but at least a dozen men surrounded it, all clothed in black suits and all looking equally ferocious. At the sight of the commanding king on his throne (however gay and sparkly it may have been), the two boys were hard pressed not to drop to the ground with fright. But ever the feisty one, Shinobu regained his voice first.

"We apologize for bumping into you sir," Shinobu bowed to Dai. "We'll be taking our leave now."

"Hold on." The booth king raised a hand, a thick silver ring glinting in the light. "Don't run off so quickly young one." He smiled, his head tilting to get a better view of the two. "What are your names?"

Misaki swallowed hard.

"Umm Takahashi Misaki, sir. Pleasure to meet you." He said shakily, dipping his head.

"Takahashi Misaki," The king repeated, sounding intrigued. "It has a nice ring. And yours?" He asked, turning to Shinobu.

"Takatsuki Shinobu." The blonde spoke back, trying to hide his cowardice behind a farce of disinterest.

"Hmm. Nice as well. Now Takatsuki-kun, Takahashi-kun. Would you care to join me for a drink?" The man asked. His polite tone was smooth as silk and for a second the two almost agreed, however, for some reason they could both pick up an odd glint in the man's eyes, and coupled with the fact that he hadn't once taken his gaze from them, it was entirely unnerving.

"Uh we'd—we'd love to but—" Misaki stuttered.

"But we have to get going. We're terribly sorry." Shinobu finished, both of them unconsciously starting to back away.

The man's smile didn't fade at the news, in fact, it grew bigger, and the glint became all the more prominent.

"I see," He responded, toying with his glass of scotch. "Sure you won't join me…freely?" He said, his suited guards beginning to spread out like a black set of fingers. Shinobu bit down on his lip, panic starting to rise in his chest as he tried to think of a reply.

The man smiled again, a slight chuckle under his breath.

"Well boys? What do you say—"

"SORRY BUT WE HAVE TO GO THANK YOU!"

Shinobu let out a slight yelp as Misaki grabbed his hand and yanked both of them away to hide in the thick crowds.

"What are you doing!" Shinobu yelled, half in terror half in bewilderment. Misaki continued to run, his eyes wide and reeling.

"Running away!" He cried. "I've seen the horny rabbit give me that look more times than I can count! We have to get the hell out of here!"

The man in the booth throne gave a slight sigh as the two delectable boys turned tail, but it was not a breath in disappointment. He gave another low chuckle, turning back to Dai and raising his glass.

"Well Dai, the game has begun. Why don't you let everyone know that we will have two guests joining us tonight?"

"Yes, Saito-sama." The bodyguard nodded, his mouth turning into a frightening grin.

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><p>New chapter out soon! Thanks for reading!<p>

And oh yes, *Okama is the Japanese word for a male transvestite :)

Figured I'd explain since that word is going to be showing up a lot. Though everyone who read Okane Ga Nai should know that already :) As I did since the tranny was my favorite character.

Love you all! Thanks for the reviews! ^_^

**TBF101**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Good Uke Hunting**

"Come on!" Misaki shrieked as the two belted through the network of crowds and tables. Shinobu hurried stumbled the brunette, suddenly very grateful that Misaki had grabbed him when he did. God knows what that creepy ass guy and his goons wanted with them, but the blonde wasn't about to stick around to guess.

Misaki's eyes darted around, looking for the entrance to the club, but just when he spotted it, he saw two of the guards standing on either side of the door, blocking it from their path. Thinking quickly, Misaki pulled Shinobu behind a nearby pillar, peeking out cautiously for other exits.

"Do you see any other doors?" Misaki asked.

"Yeah! Over there," Shinobu pointed to the eastern end of the club where an exit sign was posted. But no sooner had they discovered it then they saw two more guards walk over and block that exit as well, trapping them inside the club.

"How did they move so quickly?" Misaki shuddered in fright.

"Look," Shinobu motioned. "Those black things in their ears. They must be radios or something."

The two glanced closer and could faintly make out the earpieces in the goon's ears, and sure enough they saw one of them speaking into an attached cord and led down to his suit pocket.

"Oh my god," Shinobu whispered. "This guy is serious."

"How are we gonna get out of here?" Misaki quivered, gripping the pillar to stop his hands from shaking. "Even with all the people, it won't take them long to find us."

"I don't know." Shinobu replied, his earlier confidence all but gone as he looked around fearfully. "May—Maybe there's a back way out."

"Which way?"

"I don't know! Let's go over by the stage and see if we can find any other doors. But we need to stay hidden. If this guy really wants us that badly, we have to be smarter than him."

"Right." Misaki replied. Very carefully, the two boys crept out from behind the pole and began to slink over towards the lit center stage where a dozen drag dancers were trouncing around in stilettos. Shinobu eyed the surrounding area and managed to see a couple of performers heading through an obscure door at the left hand corner of the stage. He silently tapped Misaki on the shoulder and pointed, and the two began to ease their way over. But when Misaki spotted three more of the SS guards only a few feet away, he had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep quiet. Thankfully the were facing the other way, but even as they narrowly passed them the two panicked and full out sprinted to the stage door, throwing it open and ducking inside with a silent yip.

"Oh my god!" Misaki shrieked quietly as they caught their breath. "That was too close."

"I know." Shinobu shivered, his stormy eyes dilated with fear. "But what are we going to do now?"

"See if there's another exit." Misaki answered, glancing around the scattered boxes and spare sets that cluttered the back stage. The two walked further in, the noise and music of the stage muffled by the walls.

"OH MY GOD MY FACE!"

Misaki and Shinobu silently shrieked and rushed into a dark corner as they heard an exclamation from outside the door. Not a second later, two of the Indian drag queens rushed through the door in a clattering mess, one of them clutching his left eye.

"Is it swollen?" The man (or at least that's what he sounded like) screamed in a bawling mess. Another queen in a bundle of red sashes pried the hand away from the face, scrutinizing it carefully.

"Ouch. You're gonna have a shiner there."

"Oh fucking Christ!" The wounded one exclaimed.

"Well that's what you get for telling that guy that he'd be better off straight." The other commented dryly. "You gotta stop doing that."

"He had it coming. Wearing a brown belt with black shoes…what a complete idiot!"

"I don't care if he has 'I like vagina' written on his forehead! Don't pick fights with guys that are twice your size! Now let's go get you some ice."

The two trannys headed further backstage, and Misaki and Shinobu crept out of their hiding place, breathing a sigh of relief that they hadn't been spotted—

"Hey, only performers can be back here."

The voice came out of nowhere and Misaki and Shinobu in their already panicked states were hard pressed not to shriek as they saw someone walk out from inside a nearby closet. But as soon as the two parties came into the light, all three of their mouths dropped.

Now it wasn't simply because of what the newcomer was wearing. In fact, compared to all the dolled up queens running around, his outfit was pretty much androgynous. He was a taller, thinner young man with cropped dark brown hair and eyes that looked all the more prominent with black eyeliner and shadow. He was dressed in a white tanktop, red corset that hugged his lower stomach, a dog collar, and tight black pants.

No, it wasn't the slightly fetishy ensemble that made Misaki and Shinobu gape.

It was the fact that his name was Asazuki Ayumu, and he was in their college algebra class.

Ayumu's dark eyes stared at the two, a mixture of emotions rising in them. Horror, confusion, slight embarrassment, and most of all WTF syndrome.

Misaki and Shinobu felt similar emotion towards their classmate, as they would never have pinned Asazuki as a weekend drag queen. In fact, the two barely knew him, as he seemed like a person who liked to keep to himself.

And right now they could really see why…

Trying to swallow back some of his own unease, Ayumu quickly searched for the right response, and he immediately skipped past the "what the hell are you doing here?" question, as he would probably required to answer it as well.

Instead, he simply turned away and spoke plainly.

"Go back into the club. No one's allowed in here."

Panicked at the mere idea of turning around, Misaki stepped forward and hurriedly replied.

"We can't! Some guys are after us!"  
>"You're in a gay club." Ayumu quietly spat back. "What did you expect?"<p>

"You don't understand!" The brunette pleaded (Shinobu was still a little flummoxed and hadn't been able to find his normally quite accessible voice just yet). "There's this really creepy guy who's sent all these guards after us! If we go back in they'll find us!"

At the mention of the guards, Ayumu turned around, his eyes widening in fearful recognition.

"Guards?"

Misaki nodded.

"Yeah, and they've blocked all the exits too. We need to find another way out of here."

"Uh oh," Ayumu murmured. "You got scouted by Saito."

"Who?" Shinobu asked.

"Saito Genju, a very powerful Yakuza who has a thing for jailbait. Looks like you're on his menu for tonight."

Misaki swallowed hard, his breaths quickening in panic.

"Is there another way out Asazuki-kun?"

Ayumu glanced over towards a hallway filled with dressing rooms, but his eyes were grave.

"There's an exit, but Saito has his guards back there too. I saw them when I came in earlier."

"Are you sure?" Shinobu cried. "We have to get out of here!"

Ayumu shook his head.

"Saito knows all the exits in this building. There's no way you could get out without one of them seeing you."

Those words hit Misaki and Shinobu like a brick, and they exchanged a frightened glance.

"What are we gonna do?" Shinobu murmured, his voice shaky.

Misaki pressed his trembling lips together, trying to wrack his brain for something, anything. And as he thought, his mind drifted back to Usagi, who might even be home waiting for him. The thought sent a flowing leak of guilt to Misaki's heart, and he hung his head, trying to blink back his overwhelming emotions.

"…I have an idea."

Misaki's eyes darted in surprise as Ayumu spoke, and he immediately replied.  
>"What? What should we do?" He pleaded harder than ever.<p>

Ayumu swallowed, a determined glint springing in his eyes as he carefully eyed his classmates.

"Well…when in Rome, do what the Romans do."


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for your awesome reviews! ^_^

Love you all!

**TBF101**

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: What the Romans Do<strong>

"Okay, now hold still and try not to blink."

Misaki complied, somewhat apprehensive as he felt the eyeliner brush and slick along his lashes, the feeling not painful but extremely odd. He tried hard to keep his eyes still, but at the same time couldn't help but blink. A slight curl took hold in Ayumu's lip as he watched Misaki grimace, and he reached out with precise fingers to hold the eyelid down so he could work more effectively.

From another chair in the dressing room, Shinobu grimaced as well, wrinkling his nose as Ayumu took out the mascara. Normally the blonde brat would've flat out refused these sorts of antics, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and they really had no choice.

They had mainly been swayed when Ayumu had described the sort of things Saito usually did to his targets, beginning with getting them drunk or high and taking them to a nearby hotel. And while the man seemed pleasant (if intimidating) in public, in bed he was a monster.

Plus this trait didn't even encompass half of the problems of getting picked up by the Yakuza, as after he was done, he let all the guards have a go, and they didn't exactly like to take turns. According to Ayumu, Saito had been scoring at this club for years, but had never been prosecuted, as the victim's memories were often muddled by slipped drugs. And even if someone was able to remember half of what they did that night, that Yakuza had more than enough power to quiet them.

And naturally, after hearing the horror story, Misaki and Shinobu had immediately complied to his plan, which consisted of making them like the Romans (or in this case the drag queens) of the club so they could slip out undetected.

However, while he was willing, the stress of the situation had put Shinobu in a pretty bad mood, all the more accentuated by the grimace on his face. And when he noticed Ayumu getting out more kits of makeup, he finally spoke.

"Is all of this really necessary?" He said dryly. "Couldn't we just throw on wigs and dresses and stop wasting time?"

Ayumu glanced up from his work, his expression irritated and resentful.

"Do you really think you would get out of here unseen like that?"

Shinobu froze.

"Well…"

"News flash Takatsuki," Ayumu snapped. "Saito has been at this club for years, and so have his guards. They know exactly who's a drag queen and who isn't, and if you guys wanna save your asses tonight, I suggest you let me work."

Shinobu was taken aback by his classmate's tone, and he immediately canned it, not wanting to anger their supposed savior further.

Ayumu continued to skillfully make over Misaki, trying not to appear just how pestered he was by the arrival of his classmates. In a nutshell, this was his worst nightmare, especially on a busy night like this. If it had been anyone else under Saito's spell, Ayumu probably would've kicked them out to the lions. It was bound to happen anyway. Heck, some tramps even went with the Yakuza and his entourage willingly. By some perspectives it was a night of free drinks, limo rides, and a probably pretty satisfying orgy or six.

But because it had been Takahashi, Ayumu had found to his annoyance that he couldn't do it. In a way, he owed the brunette a debt. About a month ago Ayumu had tripped down a couple stairs at the college (having been late for a literature class) and all the contents of his backpack had spilled, including several sketchbooks that contained outfit designs. Knowing he would be crucified if anyone else saw them, he would have refused any help from passerbys, but fortunately no one cared enough to stop.

Except one person. While Ayumu had been sorting through some disheveled papers, Misaki had come over and quietly began picking up some of the books, which almost made Ayumu yell. But to his eternal surprise, Misaki hadn't opened any of the books or asked questions, but just simply handed them back and smiled.

Having rarely been the recipient of such quiet kindness, the scene had stuck with Ayumu for days, and even though he had never spoken to Misaki on a personal level, he made a promise to himself that he would try to repay the deed.

And here he was now, doing yet another makeup job (his twenty-first just that night) on two guys who didn't even know eyelash curlers existed. He certainly hadn't expected this tonight.

But beyond his annoyance at Shinobu's narrow-mindedness, he was actually enjoying himself, as he'd secretly thought once that these two wouldn't look that bad in heels. So, he'd taken them over to one of the makeup rooms and began carefully creating a duo masterpiece.

But even still, he was fucking annoyed. He had to put up with enough shit in the outside world and he certainly didn't want it dragged into here.

Misaki also heard the resentment in Ayumu's tone as he worked, and ever the congenial one, he decided to chat with him to ease the tension.

"So…do you work here Asazuki-kun?" He inquired politely, shutting his eyes as Ayumu spread shadow over the lids.

"…Sort of." Ayumu replied. "And don't call me that. When I'm here I'm Ayumi."

"Hmm?" Misaki grunted in curiosity.

"Everyone here uses a different name." Ayumu enlightened. "That's mine."

"Oh. So…what do you do here?" Misaki asked.

"In case you couldn't tell, I'm one of the makeup and costume designers….though I'm not technically an employee. I do this on my own time."

As if on cue, the high-pitched voiced of a drag queen called from outside in the hallway.

"AY-YU-MI!"

Ayumu quickly turned around and titled Misaki's face away from the mirror.

"No one can know you're not a performer. Just don't move and don't say anything." He whispered. "I'll take care of it. Takatsuki, duck behind that curtain!"

Shinobu nodded and complied just in time as a decked out tranny with a blonde bob wig sauntered in, carrying two pairs of strappy heels.

"What's up Koko?" Ayumu asked, casually dusting some white powder on the back of Misaki's neck as Koko chattered.

"Nothing much sugar. Just about to go on—You look adorable by the way— Hey, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"About Shika. She told another guy off and got decked in the face." Koko smirked, a chuckle slipping out of his painted lips.

Ayumu grinned.

"Big surprise."

"Tell me about it. Now honey, what shoes did you want to go with this outfit? The purple or the red?" He asked, holding up his laden hand.

"The red. Definitely." Ayumu answered immediately.

Koko smiled, walking over to him.

"Thank you precious." He crooned, taking the boy's head and planting a kiss on top of it. "Couldn't do it without you! But gotta go! I'm on!"

"Good luck! Ayumu called as the tranny skipped out of the room on surprisingly nimble legs. After he had gone, Shinobu came out and returned to his place and Misaki lifted his head.

When neither of his classmates said anything, Ayumu nervously continued their conversation, grabbing a tin of shimmer and a different brush.

"So yeah, this is pretty much what I do. I started coming about two years ago…and I've been here every Saturday since."

"I see." Misaki replied. "You must really like it here."

For a second, Ayumu stopped his brushing hand, and a slight softness took hold in his eyes.

"Yeah…I do."

Quickly swallowing a twinge of emotion, Ayumu changed the subject.

"Okay, so now you guys now why I'M here...so why are you?"

Misaki sighed.

"Long story. But in a nutshell, we were following someone and got lost and ended up here."

Ayumu furrowed his eyebrows.

"Huh. So who were you following?"

"His cheating boyfriend." Shinobu piped.

"Takatsuki!" Misaki yelped, his face immediately gaining a blush that was not makeup born.

"Wait a minute," Ayumu said, his mouth starting to curve into a smile. "You mean rich red cock sports car?"

Misaki's eyes (already made very prominent by the eyeliner) went extremely wide.  
>"H—How did—you…"<p>

Ayumu grinned.

"That guy screams seme cougar. Though I imagine he has a pretty hot bod in addition to money. How's he in bed?"

Misaki gulped in embarrassment as a reply. But underneath his awkwardness, he felt a little bit relieved. It bothered him terribly that Ayumu's secret life was put on display for them, and so Misaki felt that the least he could do was reciprocate a little. And knowing that Ayumu knew a thing or two about secrets, he was the last person who would yammer it to the whole world.

"So he's your boyfriend?" Ayumu asked, a little more interested.

"S—Sorta," Misaki replied. "We uh… live together."

Ayumu smiled, knowing exactly what that vague phrase meant: fucking.

"So…do…do you have a boyfriend…Ayumi?"

Ayumu stopped and looked down at Misaki with a dropped mouth.

"Um, for your information," He said, sounding offended. "I'm STRAIGHT."

Misaki's eyes went wide with absolute horror and he quickly struggled to find words.

"I—Uh I—"

"Hahahah!" Ayumu suddenly grinned, letting out a stream of chuckles. "Kidding, kidding, kidding. Oh god you should've seen your face!"

Misaki blushed, still in a state of shock.

"Oh sorry," Ayumu said, still as he took a breath. "But that's the first time someone's ever fallen for that gag. I couldn't help it."

"Oh…uh yeah. Funny." Misaki replied, smiling nervously.

"But to answer your question." Ayumu replied, digging in a nearby drawer for lip gloss. "No, I don't. I don't really steady date. I like to keep my options open."

Shinobu quietly snorted at this, and Ayumu turned.

"What about you Takatsuki? Seeing anyone?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." The blonde replied, staring across the wall at a poster that read "Okama Love."

"Professor Miyagi from the lit department."

Ayumu's eyes widened at the blonde specifications, but he huffed slightly. This kid was certainly arrogant enough to date a teacher. He'd destroy anything less.

"Huh. I haven't had him but I've seen him around."

"Good." Shinobu replied, crossing his arms to skulk.

Ayumu rolled his eyes and set down his brush, tilting his head as he scrutinized the brunette's face.

"Is…is it done?" Misaki asked, his skin unused to the feeling of all the caked on powder.

"I think so." Ayumu replied, nodding approvingly at his work. He then turned to Shinobu, his mouth pulling into a slight smirk.

"All right Takatsuki. You're next."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: The Good Side**

Now Ayumu was an extremely modest person by nature, and yet even now he had to admit it.

He had fucking outdone himself. This had to be his greatest creation yet.

However, there were two other people with him who thought completely otherwise.

"I...I don't think I can do this." Misaki said as he looked in the mirror with a mixture of horror and awe.

The person he saw in front of him looked so entirely female that it sent a shudder of oddity (and partial shame) down his spine. Though in the back of his mind (the way, way, WAY back) Misaki couldn't help but commend Ayumu. He certainly wouldn't have recognized himself.

Ayumu couldn't help but curve his lips as he tilted his head, ogling his masterpiece. Misaki was clothed to match his emerald eyes, and also with the air of a youthful schoolgirl, and the conglomerate was pulled of impeccably (if he did say so himself).

The brunette's outfit consisted of a pale green sweater vest over a white collared shirt, a dark green plaid skirt, a black tie, thigh high socks, and shiny black pumps (which he hadn't tried to walk in yet out of fear). Ayumu had kept the makeup simple yet striking with green eye shadow and nude lip gloss with sparkles (all the while privately coveting his neighbor's naturally plumped pink lips).

Misaki shifted his feet slightly, wobbling on the heels and trying to get used to the uncomfortable feeling of the incredibly short skirt. And as he was being scrutinized by an entirely too happy Ayumu, Misaki quickly called behind a dressing curtain where Shinobu was.

"T—Takatsuki-kun? Are you ready?"

"Yes." A flat voice called.

"Are you coming out then?"

"…No way IN HELL."

Ayumu rolled his eyes.

"Grow a pair and come out." He snapped, tapping his boot heel impatiently. "We don't have all night."

When silence served as a reply, Ayumu dug into more persuasive measures.

"Well, if you're not gonna show I might as well go grab Saito and tell him you're back here—"

"Okay okay okay! HERE! You happy!" Shinobu yelled, throwing back the curtain and proceeding to scowl viciously.

Misaki's eyes widened, as did Ayumu's.

They both had to admit…Shinobu did look hot.

Ayumu was even more thrilled with the blonde's garb than Misaki's, as it had been one outfit he'd wanted to put somebody in for ages. He had dubbed it "Sassy bratty teenager," and as the name suggested he needed a teen to wear it. And since he was the youngest member of the Birdcage crew, there had never been a muse at hand to give it form.

Until now.

A pink ruffled dress, brown boots, silver jewelry, and a rhinestone-studded jean jacket clothed the blonde, and it fit his slim body very nicely. Shinobu's makeup was equally as glamorous, with ample amounts of glitter and shine. Truth be told, he and Misaki really looked like teenage girls with short hair, and as they looked at each other with wide eyes, they both had the embarrassing yet entirely appropriate thought that they actually looked…. pretty darn good.

"All right," Ayumu said. "Clothes and makeup are done, which just leaves hair."

"I don't know if I can take much more of this." Shinobu muttered under his breath.

"It'll be easy to style the wigs once they're on. Come over and sit while I go get them." Ayumu said, briefly clicking out of the room.

Misaki and Shinobu both sat down, avoiding each other's eyes while they uncomfortably adjusted their short skirts. Misaki shifted his lips nervously, and a faint smell came to his ears.

"Hey Takatsuki-kun. Do you smell strawberries?"

Shinobu leaned over, sniffing tentatively.

"I think it's the lip gloss."

Misaki grimaced, the smell bringing back equally unpleasant memories.

"Well what flavor did you get?"

"Cherry." Shinobu replied after taking a tiny lick. "Hmm… it actually doesn't taste that bad."

"I don't think you should eat that." Misaki said, wrinkling his nose.

Ayumu came back in a few moments later, carrying two long wigs that nearly matched Misaki and Shinobu's natural hair colors. He set them carefully on the dressing table and dug into the drawer for a bottle of hair gel.

"As much as I'd like to put on the wigs properly, I'm just gonna go with the basics to save time." He muttered mostly to himself as he coated his hands with gel and began to slick back Misaki's hair. And after a few more preparations, Misaki now had faux waist length hair that fell in chocolately curls. Ayumu admired his work yet again as he saw the nearly completed masterpiece of Misaki, and he let out a hum of satisfaction.

"Okay, now just a little hair spray and you should be—"

"Mi-Mu? Are you in there?" Came a knocking at the door, which made Ayumu freeze.

"Oh shit! It's Nana." He swore in a whisper, nearly tripping over his own heels. "Quick, hide behind the curtain!"

Not bothering to ask who this "Nana" was, Misaki and Shinobu rushed back, trying not to fall on their own faces as well.

"Come in." Ayumu answered, hurriedly sitting down in front of his mirror and organizing some of the scattered makeup. Misaki and Shinobu watched curiously though a crack in the curtain, as yet another drag queen came into the room, but even among the trannys, this one was a little different. He was a handsome, older man with gray hair to show for it, and was dressed androgynously like Ayumu in a black turtleneck, gray pants, heels, and thick jewelry. However (in spite of the lightly applied makeup) his face was actually very kind looking, and it became all the more handsome as it was lit with a charismatic smile.

"Hey Mi-Mu, you look great tonight." The man commented, resting a hand in the boy's short hair.

Ayumu turned around, and the two were surprised to see him smile softly as well.

"Hey Nana. I thought you left for your gig already." He commented, tossing some lipstick into a cosmetic bag.

"Just grabbing a few more accessories." Nana replied, ogling himself in the mirror with a keen eye. "Pick me out some earrings will you."

Ayumu nodded, opening a nearby chest and digging through a pile.

"You know," Nana smiled after brushing a stray piece of hair away. "Your outfits never cease to amaze me. What you did with the Bollywood dancers tonight has to be the most original design I've ever seen. It's about time Tsuneo just hired you. For god's sake, you're only twenty and you have more talent than any of the designers here."

Ayumu's lips pulled into a bashful smile at the praise.

"Well, I wouldn't go THAT far…. Besides, I don't expect Tsuneo to hire me while I'm under aged. I mean, I'm not even supposed to be allowed in here."

Nana snorted.

"That's a laugh. Under aged or no, Kei lets in whoever he thinks is fuckable. Hell, I saw two kids a while ago who looked like they'd never even seen drag before. Cute though. Probably about your age. I imagine they got picked up inside fifteen minutes, if even that. What about you? Going home tonight?"

Ayumu shook his head, shoving more makeup into the bureau drawers.

"I don't know. My parents are away for the weekend." He answered quietly. "My brother got another athletic scholarship or something so they're down in Kyoto. Hmmph…they didn't even ask me if I wanted to go." He muttered, his head lowering slightly.

Nana looked down with concern, running his fingers lovingly through the boy's hair.

"And did you?"

Ayumu laughed without humor.

"HELL NO. I'd have to go drink cheap beer with my dad and jock strap macho brother, listen to all their talks about sports and watch them hit on underpaid waitresses. It would have been so much fun…"

Nana chuckled at Ayumu's sarcasm.

"Oh you negative Nancy." He chided playfully. "Who knows? Your brother might have a few hot jock friends who are waiting to let you show them out of the closet and into your cute ass."

"I doubt it." Ayumu replied with a slight smile.

Nana saw it and continued to stroke the dark hair, watching the boy fondly.

"How's school?" He asked casually.

"Same as always." Ayumu muttered back.

"Which is?"

"Hate it." Ayumu sighed. "I mean, I'm a business major, but when I actually think about doing some of the stuff they describe, I envision throwing myself off the clock tower."

Nana frowned.

"Why did you choose business?"

Ayumu's head lowered further.

"Because… it made my parents happy. They say it will make me more money."

Nana's face grew more grave, and his tone quieted into a contemplative murmur.

"People often intertwine money and happiness, but in reality, they are two entirely separate things." He sighed knowingly. "You could be the richest person in the world and be unhappier than the poorest man. And let me tell you something Mi-Mu, you have a passion and—"

"And most people never even comprehend what passion is." Ayumu interrupted fluidly. "They waste their lives away with TV and work and never even stop to think about putting the time and thought into creating something beautiful. Come on Nana, you've given me that speech a thousand times." He said, a smile creeping back onto his lips.

"That's because you always seem like you need an encore Mi-Mu." Nana replied. "Hey, next week is Kabuki night."

"I know." Ayumu said enthusiastically. "I can't wait. I'm even gonna skip a class for it."

The older man raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a good idea? What about your teacher?"

"I don't care." The boy muttered back. "It's my literature class and the guy's a total asshole so I'm gonna end up with a middle grade anyway. I'd much rather be here."

Nana nodded knowingly, tilting his head as he thought of something.

"Wanna put on a kimono and dance with everyone this time?"

Ayumu's busy hands froze and he pursued his lips nervously. Nana noticed and leaned down, whispering into his ear.

"Don't think I haven't seen you eyeing that light blue silk number in the closet." He smiled.

"I…don't think so." Ayumu replied. "You know I'm more of a behind the scenes guy. I mean…that's the whole reason I failed in track."

"Yes," Nana replied soberly. "But you always said you weren't comfortable in that world. I know for a fact that you love this place and you would be a wonderful performer."

Ayumu snorted.

"I doubt it."

"Honey," Nana chided, resting his hands on the Ayumu's lean shoulders. "I was a boxer in college, and I know an athlete when I see one. You have a dancer's body, and every guy in town would line up to see you on that stage because you would be absolutely perfect." He said affectionately, sliding his palms down to Ayumu's elbows.

"Except that would make Nana nervous," He laughed. "Because half the guys in this club are dickheads."

Ayumu laughed as well, but then Nana's face suddenly grew serious.

"By the way, you watch your back. Saito's here tonight."

"I know." Ayumu nodded.

"Even still, I don't want him getting the idea of you into his head. Stay backstage as much as possible. And if he starts talking to you, go find Tsuneo or Kei. I know you're no swooning maiden, but the last thing you want is to be gang banged. Don't go near him." Nana said, his eyes darkening at the mere possibility.

"I will." Ayumu replied, turning around and handing the older man a pair of dangly earrings. "You need to go. You'll be late."

Nana smiled approvingly, taking the items and fastening them in.

"Only fashionably late babe, and they can deal with that. Well, I should be back around two. Wanna come home with me tonight? I got a new soap on DVD that I'm dying to watch." The older man said, flashing another charismatic grin.

Ayumu couldn't help but chuckle and he grinned back.

"Yeah, sure."

"All right then," Nana smiled, leaning down to kiss the boy's forehead. "See you later."

"Bye." Ayumu said, as Nana headed to the door. "Good luck."

Even after the other man had left, Misaki and Shinobu remained behind the curtain, both a little stunned and bashful about the conversation they'd overheard. Shinobu in particular was awestruck by the unusual relationship Ayumu had with the older man. Nana was a father, a friend, and perhaps even a lover all rolled into a mix that somehow made sense. It had struck a chord with the blonde and for a second, he was reminded of Miyagi. The thought of the man instantly sent a pang of guilt and longing into his normally plucky heart, and Shinobu found himself wishing he were home with his old man.

Misaki too was silent, his head lowered as the conversation replayed in his mind. He was uncomfortable to have secretly (well kind of secretly) witnessed such an obviously tender moment, and he became even more bashful to see the way Ayumu's face changed after Nana left. The boy's eyes that were so bright and animated before had faded, and the slight smile had been replaced by a mask of calculated cynicism and resentment.

"You know you can come out right?" Ayumu mumbled, still fidgeting with the makeup tubes on the dresser.

At his beckoning, Shinobu pulled back the curtain and walked over, sitting down in the chair in front of the mirror.

"All right, give me the hair." The blonde said boldly. Ayumu raised an eyebrow.

"Done crying?" He snorted.

Shinobu huffed, but didn't bite back.

"I have somewhere to be. And I'm not gonna let that Saito fucker slow me down."

Ayumu smirked slightly, and began to gel back the honey mop. But as he worked, he noticed that Misaki was staring at him with an expression of compassion and timidity. Swallowing back his own embarrassment at the things he had disclosed, Ayumu quickly straightened his face.

"By the way, just forget about all the crap you heard. It was just an act."

Shinobu glanced at Misaki suspiciously.

"An act?"

"Well think about it." Ayumu rolled his eyes. "If I hadn't talked normally to him he would've seen through me in a second. He can always tell when I'm off. So…just forget it."

"Fine by me." Shinobu commented, watching with slight curiosity as Ayumu slid the wig onto his head, giving him feathery honey blonde locks that hung in layers.

"So…are you and Nana…close?" Misaki asked, his tone cautious.

Ayumu kept a straight face, even when his voice felt shaky.

"Yeah…he's the one who…who helped me out of the closet. He taught me everything, and he introduced me to this place. I…I owe him a lot." He said quietly, brushing away at Shinobu's faux hair as a distraction.

"Okay," Ayumu said, quickly changing the subject. "I'm just gonna do a few more touch ups, then we can go out." He said, grabbing a bottle of hairspray.

"Wait…we?" Misaki cocked his head.

"Well duh." Ayumu said, a smile creeping onto his face again. "I'm not gonna miss seeing your debut traveling among the Romans. So let's get cracking."

Misaki smiled back.

"Right."

"Hey," Shinobu piped up. "Can you part my bangs the other way? They're falling over my good side."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Romans and Greeks**

"Takahashi!" Ayumu hissed as the three she-boys neared the door that led out into the club. "Quit picking at your falsies! You're going to mess them up."

"Sorry," Misaki replied, lowering his hand away from his make-uped eyes. "They just feel weird."

"Deal with it," Ayumu replied, peaking out through the partially ajar door. After a quick look around, he closed it, turning to face the boys. To blend in with the other Romans, Ayumu had also donned a long, straight black wig with sweeping vertical bangs (and Shinobu and Misaki couldn't help but noticed that it complimented his natural pallor quite…sexily).

"Okay, here's the plan." He enlightened. "We are all going to head towards the main entrance. Kei the bouncer is up there and I can chat with him to deter suspicions from Saito's guards. Now, if either of you get separated, make for one of the two side exits and try to hide in a group so they won't suspect you. Got it?"

The two boys nodded, and Shinobu looked over at Misaki.

"Takahashi, once we get out, let's meet up the street where the taxi dropped us off."

"Right." Misaki replied.

"Sounds like a plan." Ayumu nodded, taking hold of the doorknob again. "All right. Ready?"

"No…" Shinobu muttered. "But do it."

A small smile curved Ayumu's red painted lips.

"All right…welcome to life as a queen." He spoke, opening the door.

The three disguised boys slowly headed out into the crowded club of Romans, each one hoping that this plan would work. But what they hadn't counted on was that they weren't the only people from Mitsuhashi University tonight, and they were about to get a rude awakening.

* * *

><p>Over by the bustling and crowded bar, a tall, handsome man took in the sight before him with a somewhat horrified look. He let out a sigh, lifting his glass of scotch back to his lips.<p>

"Oh Hiro-san," He said quietly before taking another plunge.

Nowaki let the sake grog his already inebriated mind, trying with some difficulty to forget how he and his lover had ended up drinking at a drag club.

It really had been his fault. Lately he had started to suggest to Hiroki that they should have more nights out as a couple, especially since their weekends had freed up a bit. Although the small voice in the back of his mind warned him that a publicly drunk Hiroki was not a desirable thing, he had begged and pleaded his way into getting the professor to go out with him. And as neither of the two had the foggiest idea which gay clubs had the best bars, Nowaki had chosen a rather precarious method of choosing their destination. And at the moment, he was entirely regretting it, considering he had just looked in the phone book and chosen the one with the weirdest (and most non graphic) name.

And now, here he was, looking at Hiroki as he'd never seen him.

The distinguished Kamijou, having been more than a little uncomfortable (completely horrified) by his surroundings, had dug into the available alcohol with a gusto only seen by a socially awkward gay man.

Six glasses of pink colored vodka had now found Hiroki very much smashed, sitting next to a tranny in a toga, and groggily debating about the role of homosexuality in ancient Greece.

But as Nowaki listened closer to Hiroki's slurred tone (that had lost absolutely none of it's condescension), he noticed that the professor was getting maybe a little _too_ drunk, and he quickly decided to intervene.

"Hiro-san," He said, placing a hand on Hiroki's shoulder. "We should probably get going soon. I think you've had enough booze."

Hiroki glanced at him dryly.

"Ther' no such thing as 'nuff booze Nowaki." He slurred, immediately diving back into his debate with the toga tranny. But Nowaki wasn't about to let him stay here in this state.

"Hiro-san, let's go." The giant spoke firmly, snaking an arm around the trim waist. Hiroki was about to protest further (after all, he was winning the argument), but when he got pulled to his feet, he immediately felt the weight of a block of cement drop onto his head.

"Ugh…" He groaned, claming a palm over his forehead. "I feel sick."

"Are you okay to walk Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked worriedly, supporting his lover as best he could.

"Yeah," The brunette replied. "Just let me go to the bathroom real quick. Wash my face…"

Nowaki was reluctant to let Hiroki walk by himself, keeping a careful eye on his beau as he headed over to the bar tender to see if he could find a number for a taxi service.

* * *

><p>While the two boys had been backstage for their extreme makeover drag edition, the club had gotten even more crowded, and even the seasoned Ayumu was having trouble navigating the three through the thick clusters of shinning queens (especially when they started playing disco). The taller boy peered ahead, trying to keep tabs on all of Saito's guards and not lose his protégés at the same time, who were clicking nervously about like a couple of drunk newborn calves. But his face paled as his eyes confirmed the worst-case scenario heading straight towards them.<p>

The twenty-foot long tranny conga line.

"Takatsuki! Takahashi!" He quickly whispered. "Get back against the wall and don't move!"

Seeing the human train of sparkles coming in a full speed, Shinobu quickly complied, flattening himself next to Ayumu as best he could. Misaki quickly tried to follow, but as he flailed through the crowd, his sweater vest snagged on gothic tranny's spiked leather jacket and he was shoved back in the opposite way, the impenetrable (pun not intended) conga line blocking the way back to his friends. Ayumu swallowed hard as he saw Misaki separated from them (and also the fact that a perfectly good cashmere sweater now had a hole), and he hoped to god that Takahashi was smarter than he looked and had remembered their backup plan.

His ass depended on it…

"Takatsuki!" He called, motioning to the blonde. "Let's go!"

Shinobu gulped and cast a worried look in Misaki's direction, but nodded and followed.

* * *

><p>Realizing that he had been divided from his she-male pack, panic tried to take hold in Misaki's mind, but luckily he was able to push it aside. As he had walked through the crowds, he had even passed a couple of Saito's guards, and they hadn't even recognized him. The small brunette gained some confidence in Ayumu's well-executed disguise, and he was able to keep his head and quickly locate the nearest exit. It was a big farther away then the main door, but there were more than a couple groups nearby and he could probably slip past the guard unnoticed.<p>

And so, as trannyish as he could manage, the boy straightened his shoulders and walked over to the door, hoping to god that this plan would work. But for all his determination, he couldn't help but silently squeak as he saw the size of the yeti guard watching the exit like a hawk. Trying to hide himself behind a couple of passing drag queens, Misaki crouched slightly down and stood in front of the door, reaching for the handle in what he hoped was a casual manner…

"Hey." A deep rumbling voice called, making his hand freeze. Trying to control his inner trembling, Misaki glanced up into the face of the guard, who was offering him a slight smile.

"Yes?" Misaki replied, hoping there really wasn't as much squeak as he heard.

The guard chuckled, flashing a row of white teeth.

"How're you doing? I'm Shibuya. What's your name?"

"Uhh….Misa." Misaki replied, thinking quickly and swallowing hard.

"Hmmm, cute." The guard hummed, leaning further towards the boy. "So Misa, you here all by yourself?"

"Umm no…" Misaki shakily replied, taking a step back as the guard advanced. "I'm with a friend…"

"Really? Interesting." Shibuya cooed. Misaki's eyes quickly darted over to the front entrance, where he could just barely make out the top of Ayumu's head. But the second the boy was distracted, the giant of a man made his move.

Misaki yelped as he felt a strange muscular arm wrap around his waist and forcefully pull him away from the door and down a corridor, but his cries were drowned out by the thundering music.

* * *

><p>I know, I know. Bad Flamingo. Leaving you all at a cliffy. Sowy :)<p>

But I will update soon! And this story come in fast spurts (...oh god. pun NOT INTENDED) so the next chappy will be out soon along with review replies.

**Thank you all for reading! Love you ^_^**

**TBF101**

P.s Don't worry about Misaki ;) he's in good hands.

Mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Saved by the Boozer**

"Ow…fuck." Hiroki groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He took a deep breath, leaning over the bathroom sink and splashing his face with more cold water.

After shaking a few droplets from his face, he lifted his head, casting a slight glare at the droopy, puffy-eyed, grizzly reflection of himself.

"…What the fug' are you lookin' at?" He slurred, glaring harder at the glass.

But before the reflection could reply, a commotion sounded from down the hall. The noise and cold water sobering him slightly, Hiroki ducked into the corner near the sink, blocking himself from the view of the bathroom door. And his eyes widened as he saw a large suited man come in, gripping a struggling school girl by the waist.

"Stop!" He yelled, trying to flail away. "Let go!"

"Oh come on," The giant of a man laughed, shoving the small body against the wall. "Why don't me and you have some fun? I've got a few minutes and could really use an appetizer."

"No way!" The brunette yelled back, trying with all his might to shove the offender away. But the giant just chuckled and reached a bear paw up to pin his shoulder against the wall, while his other hand reached down between the brunette's legs.

"Don't be such a pussy," He mused as the smaller person let out a yelp. "I play with pretty boys like you all the time. It'll be a good for both of us…"

"NO STOP! STOP!"

From the other side of the bathroom, Hiroki listened to the exchange in horror, but his inebriated state seemed to have frozen his ability to think logically. He stood there, his eyes wide, but no plans coming to the surface as he heard more chuckles and gasps. But his mind clicked into place when he realized something.

He recognized that voice…

The alcohol in his blood finally boiling over, Hiroki stormed away from the corner and into their line of sight.

"HEY DOUCHEBAG! Leave the brat alone!" He snarled with the fury of a lion.

The two other people in the room were struck dumb by his scream, Shibuya because he had thought they were alone, and Misaki because he was currently being saved from molestation by his very, very drunk literature professor who also happened to be at the same gay drag club on a Saturday night…

Needless to say, the Shibuya recovered first.

"We're in the middle of something punk," He barked, still pinning Misaki down. "Get lost."

Now, a normal NON-drunk Hiroki would have been slightly irked that he was being dismissed. But drunk, fired up Hiroki had a hundred times more bloodlust swirling around in his noggin than Vlad the Impaler, Elizabeth Bathory, and Attila the Hun combined, and his strained inner workings practically screamed with joy as his rage reached it's boiling point.

In plain terms, Hiroki exploded and raced forward, grabbing the back of Shibuya's neck and smashing it clean against the tile. The guard was knocked out instantly, and Misaki jerked back as Shibuya crumpled to the floor in a bloody heap. The frightened boy stared with both awe and gratitude at Hiroki, and quickly edged his way away from the wall, straightening out his rumpled skirt. He slowly approached Hiroki and offered him a shaky smile.

"K—Kamijou-sensei…" He said, just happy to see a familiar face…even in these circumstances.

The alcohol having ripped back quite a few of Hiroki's social layers, rather than blush and be embarrassed, the professor simply stared at Misaki for a second and replied,

"Takahashi why the fuck are you wearing a dress?"

Misaki gulped slightly, but didn't stop smiling.

"Long story…"

Suddenly a low grunt sounded from the floor, making Misaki jump. The guard hadn't opened his eyes, but he was shifting around. The she-boy quickly grabbed Hiroki's hand and yanked him in the direction of the door.

"Hurry!" He shrieked. "We have to get out of here!"

"What?" Hiroki snarled. "I'm not leaving! I wanna pounded that guy's face in again!"

"There's too many of them Sensei!" Misaki replied, peaking quickly out into the hall before leaving the bathroom. "We have to find my friends and—"

The brunette's eyes widened and he quickly shut his mouth as two more of Saito's guards walked past them.  
>"Damn, where did that Shibuya go?" One of them growled.<p>

"Let's check the john." The other replied. "Maybe he found himself a little tail."

As soon as the two rounded the corner, Misaki gripped Hiroki's hand harder and ran for it, racing all the way to the backstage door and shutting it behind them.

"Takahashi!" Hiroki raged, jerking his hand away. "What IN THE HELL is going on!"

Misaki put a hand over his heaving chest, trying to slow his pants.

"Those—Those men are after me…and now they've seen you too..."

Hiroki's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What the—"

"Misaki! Misaki!"

The brunette boy jumped back from the door just as it burst open revealing Shinobu and Ayumu. The blonde raced forward and worriedly looked his friend over, sighing with relief as he saw no visible signs of harm.

"Are you okay?" Shinobu pressed. "We saw that guard grab you and haul you away. We thought you were a goner! Are you all right!"

Misaki, having never seen the collected Shinobu so frantic, quickly raised his hands to calm him down.

"I'm fine Takatsuki-kun." He smiled. "Kamijou-sensei saved me."

"…What?"

Misaki glanced over at Ayumu, who was staring at Hiroki with a shinning mask of horror. Hiroki tilted his head for a moment, glancing at all three of them with one part horror, one part confusion, and one part just plain ole angry drunkenness.

Shinobu also looked around. Now that Misaki's safety was secure, he immediately assessed the situation. In truth, Shinobu had already spotted Nowaki out by the bar and so he had a sneaking suspicion that his arch love rival was around as well.

And as Ayumu was still in a state of shock, Shinobu knew that immediate plans were up to him.

"Be right back." He quickly said, ducking out the door and back into the club. A few minutes later Shinobu reemerged, towing along a rather stunned Nowaki.

"Hiro-san!" The giant exclaimed as he laid eyes on his lover…as well as three familiar young drag queens. "What happened?"

"It's pretty damn od'vious Nowaki." Hiroki muttered. "…They're all wearing dresses so I smacked a fucker in the face!"

Nowaki mentally smacked himself in the face for allowing his lover to become so intoxicated in public. Now an angry Hiroki was one thing, and a drunk Hiroki was another, but a drunk _and _angry Hiroki was something the man had always subconsciously known to avoid. And right now he could see why.

Seeing the man's befuddlement, Misaki and Shinobu quickly briefed Nowaki on the situation, which had him angry and concerned as well. Even still, he was able to keep his head cool, although the situation looked dire. According to Shinobu's information on Saito (as Ayumu had still not said a word), it looked as though the man had this place airtight. And since the guard Hiroki punched had gotten a good look at his face, it was more than likely that word would spread and they would be on the lookout for Hiroki too.

Nowaki sighed.

"…How are we gonna get out of here?" He murmured.

"We'll fuggin' fight our way out Nowaki!" Hiroki slurred proudly. "TEAM DEATH MATCH!"

"Hmph," Shinobu huffed. "…I'd like to see that."

Nowaki leaned against the wall and pushed back his black bangs, trying to think his way through their current enigma.

But… Shinobu and Misaki had already come up with an answer.

"Ummm…Ayumu-kun," Misaki said quietly, turning to the taller boy.

"You wouldn't happen to be in the mood for more make-up, would you?" Shinobu finished, a small curl taking hold of his lip.

Ayumu's already frenzied dark eyes widened in horror. He was clearly going to say no, but Misaki cast him a pleading look.

"Ayumu-kun…please."

Ayumu frowned irksomely, turning to Nowaki.

"What guarantee do I have that he's not going to crucify me at school for this on Monday?" He said, a hard edge in his voice.

Nowaki, immediately recognizing the boy's plan and realizing it really was the only option, cast a friendly smile at the flustered youth.

"Ayumu-kun, there's a good chance (god willing) that he will wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover and not remember a thing."

Nowaki's sincere assurance given, Ayumu sighed heavily and looked up and down at his oblivious literature professor.

"Okay… it'll be hard, but if I do this right… it could be my greatest creation yet."

* * *

><p><strong>Serinaneedshelp<strong>- awww :) what a nice stalker you are. So happy you're enjoying my work! ^_^ Hope to hear from you again! Kisses!

**Everlasting Snow Princess, Puppyfacetwo, Ricchan14, Hogwash and Honey**- I love you all! Thanks so much for your reviews! ^_^

**Sesshomaru94**- I know right? The Birdcage is such an awesome movie XDD Nathan Lane is the perfect effeminate gay man. "AH! I pierced the toast!"

**JoanIncarnate**- So, did you expect this in Hiroki's bad forseeable future? :) Tee hee hee...

**Don't Preach**- Your words of praise make me blush my dear, and I'm so happy you are loving my humble work. (well, maybe not so humble XD) I would love to write an original work about Ayumu and Nana, but my already expansive hobbies exceed my time XD so maybe sometime in the future. But knowing that you would read it makes me smile ^_^ Does fiction press have a good LGBT section? That might sway me more. Kisses my lovely! :3

**Thank you all again for your reviews and love! ^_^ **

**Updates soon!**

**TBF101**

**P.s. I need you guy's opinion. With this chapter, should I switch the rating to M? Or do you think T is enough?  
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	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy! Thank you all so much for your reviews, favs, and subscriptions! ^_^  
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**Love,  
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**TBF101  
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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Leatherheads<strong>

"I don't believe it." Ayumu murmured, shaking his head repeatedly. "I cannot believe what I'm fucking seeing…"

Misaki and Shinobu silently agreed wholeheartedly as they looked upon the magnum opus before them. In front of Ayumu's changing table was a creature that neither heaven nor earth had seen the likes of in all history, and would probably never see the likes of again.

Hiroki in full drag.

The distinguished professor Kamijou (still slightly drunk) sat on a stool, looking with bafflement and horror at his reflection in the mirror. Ayumu truly had gone all out in his transformation, and it showed. Hiroki was clothed in a fiery red halter dress, black leather boots, a spiked dog collar, dark makeup, and a short auburn wig.

"I think I'll call this one 'The demon wears leather." Ayumu commented, tilting his head to scrutinize his recent work.

"Fitting…" Shinobu muttered.

His face still set in a terse scowl, Ayumu went to sit down next to his newest queen, taking a flat iron to style the wig. He and Hiroki exchanged a brief glare before the professor spoke drunkenly.

"You know Asazuki," He growled. "I always thought you were a queer."

Ayumu's lips curved into a smirk.

"Same to you Sensei. In fact, you give me hope for the future. If a giant douchebag like you can get laid on a regular basis then my life should be a snap."

The blazing Hiroki would've probably hit his student in the face right then and there, had another voice not spoken from behind a dressing curtain.

"Umm, Ayumu-kun? Are you sure you want me to wear this?"

Ayumu rolled his eyes.

"You promised Kusama-san." He reminded tersely. "Besides, it'll match Kamijou's."

The voice sighed, having been reminded of his obligation to the stylist. Before he did anything, Ayumu had made them swear on his "do and wear as I say or get the hell out" policy, and although Nowaki had agreed to abide by it, he still felt slightly odd.

A few quiet seconds later, the curtain slowly pulled back and the giant walked out, and his appearance made both Misaki and Shinobu blush. Simply put, that man was HOT.

Nowaki looked even taller in his clothes, consisting of low riding black jeans and a red midriff that cut off right below his pecks, showing his lean and muscled abs. And to top it all off, he also wore a spiked dog collar and matching gauntlets, all connected by a long leash.

Even Ayumu was a little stunned by how well Nowaki turned out, considering he was more or less another accessory for Hiroki. Seeing how well the two complimented each other in height, Ayumu had opted for a conjoined theme. In other words, Nowaki was Hiroki the gay S&M dominatrix's bitch. Literally.

Nowaki shuffled around a little as he saw the shocked looks of the two boys (not to mention he thought he saw Ayumu check out his package), but all the worries flooded out of his mind as he glanced over at the dressing table. And as he laid eyes on the transformed Hiroki, his mouth flat out dropped.

"Oh my god…" He murmured, stepping forward. Hearing his voice, Hiroki turned around, and the color immediately drained from his face.

"Hiro-san…" Nowaki said in awe. "You're….YOU'RE BEAUTFIUL!"

"OH SHUT UP NOWAKI!" Hiroki roared back, bearing his fangs (but since he was wearing bright red lipstick, it's effect was slightly negated).

"I mean it Hiro-san!" Nowaki said excitedly. "You look so good! Oh wow Ayumu-kun. I can't believe how amazing he looks. You have a gift."

The teen's scowl fell in shock at Nowaki's praise, and Shinobu swore he saw a brief smile flash across his face.

"It's nothing really," He replied, turning his back to Nowaki and continuing his final touches.

"Well I don't think so." Nowaki beamed as he continued to stare at Hiroki, who had taken to skulking in his chair.

Shinobu rolled his eyes at the spectacle, then glanced over at Misaki, who was sitting on a stool and looking down at his lap in silence. The blonde frowned, a little worried about what else had happened in the bathroom. Although he had never been very good at comforting others, Shinobu swallowed and stepped over to him.

"…Misaki…are you all right?"

The brunette glanced up and gave Shinobu a forced smile.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"No you're not." Shinobu spoke irritably.

Seeing he couldn't hide, Misaki let out a heavy exhale.

"I feel terrible," He reluctantly admitted. "All…all this is happening to us because I didn't wait at home and trust Usagi-san…" He sighed again, his lip quivering. "And now we're trapped in here and it looks like we'll never get out safely."

Shinobu's face slightly fell at Misaki's words, and he was a little lost about how to respond.

"Hah," Hiroki barked from his chair. "Kid I wouldn't trust Akihiko farther than I could throw him."

"Hiro-san," Nowaki rebuked quietly.

"What? I wouldn't."

"Don't worry Misaki-kun," Nowaki said, walking over and patting him on the shoulder. "This isn't your fault. And now that we're here, Hiro-san and I are going to make sure that nothing happens to you or Shinobu-kun. I promise."

Misaki smiled gratefully at the giant's kind words and he slowly nodded.

"Okay."

"…Team death match." Hiroki whispered under his breath.

Suddenly Ayumu stood, putting the cap on a bottle of hairspray and clearing his throat.

"Well, I think that's it. We're done."

Still scowling with every fiber in his body, Hiroki stood on his heels, revealing his look in entirety. And when he did, everyone in the room looked in awe.

Nowaki had been right. Hiroki was beautiful.

In a completely terrifying/ horrifying/ "I'm scared shitless of this guy" way.

"Now," The dominatrix growled, snatching the end of Nowaki's leash. "All of you better get your asses in gear because I want out of this goddamned dress as fast as possible."

Ayumu snorted.

"Whatever you say, 'your majesty.'" He spat dryly. But as the designer glanced around at all his different looks, he couldn't help but be the tiniest bit proud.

"I don't suppose you'd all pose for a picture?" He said, turning to Nowaki.

"Uhhh…." The giant murmured nervously, glancing at the red queen.

"Nuh uh! No FUCKING WAY!" Hiroki growled.

But despite his refusal, someone was already underway with plans. Shinobu quickly took out his cell phone, discretely passed it to Ayumu, then dragged Misaki to stand by the S&M couple.

"Hey Kamijou! Look! A rare book!" Shinobu yelled, pointing to the far wall.

"What! Where?"

Quick as lightning, Ayumu clicked a picture then hid the phone behind his back.

"Sorry," Shinobu shrugged at Hiroki. "My mistake."

"Stupid brat!" Hiroki raged. "Are you hallucinating or something!"

"Must be."

"All right then," Ayumu nodded to everyone. "Ready?"

"You bet." Nowaki said confidently. "Right Hiro-san?"

"Blow me."

Shinobu turned to Misaki, giving him a determined look.

"Let's go Misaki-kun."

Misaki nodded, but as they all began to head out of the dressing room, he couldn't shake the feeling that they were all gonna be screwed out of their minds…

Though he hoped not literally….


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: Shoe Point**

"Okay," Ayumu said, peaking out the stage door. "Same plan as last time. Keep together as a group, but make for side doors if we get separated. And don't get caught."

"Not to worry," Shinobu muttered. "Getting caught and raped is the last thing on my list. I'll claw their eyes out before they get their hands on me."

Misaki visibly gulped at Shinobu's declaration and shrunk closer to Nowaki, who was attempting to steady a very wobbly professor.

"Easy does it Hiro-san." The leashed man said quietly as Hiroki tripped yet again, though from the heels or the booze they did not know.

"Oh shut it Wanoki." Hiroki slurred. "I'm the friggin' dominatrix here, and I don't give orders!"

Ayumu mentally crucified himself for saving his drunk lit professor's ass, and glanced at Nowaki with disdain.

"What on earth do you see in him?" He said discretely.

Nowaki gave him a slightly petulant smile.

"He's wonderful when you get to know him. And he's just so cute don't you think?"

Ayumu blinked once.

"Yeah, he's almost as cute as Hannibal Lector."

"I heard that dick." Hiroki muttered.

"Shut up!" Shinobu barked, grabbing the door handle and yanking it open. "Let's just get the fuck out of here!"

"What's the bloody hurry?" Ayumu snorted dryly as they group started forward.

"My freaking panty hose are riding up." Shinobu growled. "If you must know."

* * *

><p>The now five trannies carefully scooted out the door and back into the crowds, trying to blend in as much as possible. For all his bark mere seconds ago, Shinobu's face began to drain at the sight of all Saito's guards, and in order to look more in character, allowed Ayumu to take his elbow. Nowaki and his dominatrix followed behind, each trying to hide their own nervousness (and in Hiroki's case drunkenness).<p>

But Misaki was by far the most on edge, considering the possibility of running into Shibuya again. He was practically glued to Nowaki's back, his hand placed at the giant's elbow and his eyes darting around in fear. He wouldn't stand a chance if the guard recognized him, and it wouldn't take long before they saw through his disguise. Oh why hadn't he just stayed home instead of chasing imaginary rabbits with a paranoid blonde? This Saturday night would be permanently burned into his memory even if they DID make it out.

And his worst fears were confirmed as they ventured further out in the club. Misaki squeaked in fright as he saw Shibuya and half a dozen other giant guards leaning against a sidewall, talking in stern voices. The brunette gripped Nowaki's arm tighter in fear and tried to shrink behind his height. Everything around him seemed to blur, and their pace seemed slower than a paralytic earthworm. Misaki carefully peaked ahead, and nearly cried with relief as he saw Ayumu and Shinobu nearing the bar. If they could just make it a few more yards, they would be home free…

But all the color drained from Misaki's face as he saw one last obstacle standing between them and liberation. Saito's right hand giant, Dai was parked right near the front door, scanning the crowds with a keen eye. Shinobu and Ayumu approached, but they were whispering to each other so they didn't register the black hawk standing just feet away. Misaki bit his lip and watched in complete horror as Shinobu tripped on a table leg and went stumbling right into Dai.

"Hey douchebag! Watch where you're—" But Shinobu's angry words stopped cold as he fathomed the guard he had run into, and he squeaked out in surprise as Dai recognized his voice. The giant lunged, snatching the struggling blonde with both arms and barking into his earpiece. Ayumu frantically grabbed Shinobu's hands and tried to wretch him out of Dai's grip, but to no avail. Misaki panicked as he saw more guards race towards the entrance. This was a nightmare. Shinobu had been caught. Saito and those guards were going to take him…

"NO!" Misaki cried, pushing past Nowaki and running forward with all his might. Misaki would not allow any of his friends to be treated so shamelessly. Not in this gay lifetime! The little brunette thundered through the crowds, right up to the giant, and shoved his spiked heel into Dai's foot as hard as he could.

"Augh!" Dai grunted, his grip on Shinobu broken. Quick as lightning, Shinobu took off, breaking through two more guards and sprinting towards the bar counter. Misaki also tried to dash away, but yelped in fright as he saw Shibuya storming towards him.

"Go! GO!" Ayumu yelled, shoving Misaki away from the guards and in the same direction as Shinobu. The brunette did as he was told and bailed, but when Ayumu tried to follow, he found him wrists gripped by the recovered Dai, who looked at him with dark, malicious eyes. Ayumu thrashed, but found himself just being drawn closer.

"LET GO!" He screamed, feeling his wrists bruise. "I'm not the one Saito wants!"

"No," Dai replied, wrenching Ayumu's arms painfully behind his back. "But I've had my eye on you for quite some time."

"NO STOP! LET ME GO!"

* * *

><p>Nowaki and the dominatrix were caught in the middle of chaos. He had been so focused on keeping the white-faced Hiroki upright that he had barely noticed when Misaki had broken from the group. Nowaki glanced around franticly trying to locate the three boys, only to find his leash tugged in the opposite direction.<p>

"Hiro-san! What are you doing?" Nowaki barked in surprise.

"TEAM DEATH MATCH NOWAKI! LET'S KILL THOSE FUCKERS!"

"No Hiro-san!" Nowaki panicked. "We have to find Misaki and the others!"

"I already did ding dong! They've been captured and I'm ready to KICK ASS!"

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki yelled as his dress-clad lover sprang into a pack of suits and began to wreak havoc the likes of which heaven or hell had never seen.

* * *

><p>"WAAH!" Misaki shrieked as he tumbled his way through the crowds, Shibuya and three other guards hot on his high heels. The brunette's mind was caught in such a state of terror that he could barely think. It was run or be fucked to death! Shinobu had managed to hide behind the bar counter, and Misaki headed in that direction, his wig flying and his heels banging on the floor. His eyes darted around in search of a hiding place, but when they scanned the bar, they landed on a horrifyingly familiar person.<p>

Sitting casually on a stool was a tall man with silver hair and the snooty disinterest of a fucking millionaire. He brought a glass of pink scotch to his mouth, silently making notes on a few scattered sheets of paper. Misaki's mouth flat out dropped.

In spite of all the terrible and freakish surprises they had encountered in this train wreck of a Saturday night, this was by far the kicker.

Shinobu had actually been right. Usami Akihiko was here in a drag club!

Misaki felt his panicked and stressed mind explode with this new revelation, but at the moment, his frantic mind only gave him one option. The brunette flashed forward as fast as his heels could carry him and unscrupulously screamed,

"USAGI-SAN! SAVE MEEE!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: My Friend the Mob Boss**

Akihiko had been sitting at the bar, not having the slightest clue that all this drama was unfolding in the same club. He had gotten here about fifteen minutes ago with Aikawa to do a bit of research for a new book. It was a darker work about an abusive relationship, and in order to make it a bit lighter, Aikawa had suggested making a side character that was a witty transvestite. The two had screened about half a dozen drag clubs this evening, and were now on their last leg of research. Aikawa had left moments before in a taxi.

Akihiko lifted his drink back up to his mouth, his brow furrowing slightly. In between two of the clubs, he had briefly gone back home to get his car and realized Misaki wasn't there. He didn't have time to call the teen, and just figured that he and his stupid blonde friend had stepped out for a moment. But even still, Usagi wondered. Misaki was a college student yes, but he was far too responsible and dull to go out partying, so where could be possibly have gone—

"USAGI-SAN! SAVE MEEE!"

* * *

><p>"Let me GO!" Ayumu screamed, kicking and thrashing against Dai as he started to drag him towards the entrance. But as much as he struggled, the teen only found himself gripped tighter, and he was powerless against such brute strength.<p>

"DIE FUCKER! DIE!"

Ayumu looked up with wide eyes as he saw Kamijou and his boyfriend caught in a cluster of suits, the decked out literature professor fighting with the fury of a pack of honey badgers. As Dai dragged Ayumu closer to the door, the teen frantically waved a hand and caught Hiroki's eye. The dominatrix's eyes glowed with violence and he began to fight his way towards the boy, but as more guards came to surround the pair, his efforts were not enough.

His last hope gone, fear and panic began to take hold, and Ayumu gritted his teeth tightly. In all his work trying to get the others out, he'd never imagined he'd be targeted as well. And the fact that he was being trapped and assaulted in his own safe place was more than his mind could bear. He'd been treated shamelessly in the outside world, and it seemed he could never quite escape it. He would never truly get away. So as his body continued to fight, his efforts became weaker as his mind began to give up. What was the point anyway? It wasn't like he mattered to anyone. Dai raised an eyebrow in surprise as the boy finally quit struggling, and he smirked as he dragged him over to the front entrance.

"Hey, that one's off limits."

Ayumu looked up in surprise as Kei, the muscled bouncer cut them off, crossing his arms and addressing Dai. But the bodyguard didn't exactly give a shit.

"Get out of my way." He growled, his tightening grip making Ayumu yelp. Kei bristled, glaring back with equal fury.

"Ayumu!"

The teen's eyes shot past Kei and he saw a familiar older man pushing his way through the crowd and up to the entrance.

"Nana!" Ayumu called back, resuming his struggling as his mentor ran up.

"Let him go." Nana commanded, his face collected but furious.

"Make me okama." Dai sneered back, one of his hands snaking up to finger Ayumu's narrow jaw. The boy grimaced at the touch and Nana's face darkened dangerously.

"Last chance." He said sternly.

Dai snickered and was about to reply when a poised fist streaked out and slammed him in an upper cut under the chin. The force of the punch knocked him backwards and sent him crashing into a table and sprawling onto the floor. Ayumu had been let go of in the process and was quickly grabbed by Kei. Nana gave a quiet grunt at his handy work and flexed his ringed fingers.

"Are you all right Mi-Mu?" He asked worriedly, tenderly touching the boy's cheek. Ayumu nodded shakily.

"…Jesus Nana." He stuttered, staring at Dai's incapacitated form with awe. Nana breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

"I told you I was a boxer in college."

* * *

><p>Akihiko reacted immediately to the sound of his lover's voice, but as he whipped around, he was entirely unprepared for what he saw. Racing towards him was a dolled up version of his cute boy toy in a wig and a simply delicious schoolgirl outfit. And although Akihiko had never (EVER) been one to bat for the ladies' team, he couldn't deny that he had the <em>weirdest <em>boner right now…

But his momentary lust immediately shifted as he saw the panic in the teen's face. The author's seme senses kicked in and he was infuriated to see several large thugs in pursuit of HISjailbait (though personally he couldn't blame them).

Swiftly and elegantly, Akihiko stood from his chair and caught the teen just as he made it to the bar. He shoved Misaki behind him and rose to his full height, daring them to try anything. At the sight of the towering man, Shibuya and the guards stopped short.

"Excuse us, but _that_ belongs to someone." Shibuya growled, pointing to the cowering Misaki. Akihiko's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You are correct sir. In fact, he belongs _to me._"

Shibuya's eyes widened briefly before resuming their scowl, and it appeared he fully intended to plow through the author to get to the teen. Even still, at the sight of the man's overflowing confidence, he hesitated.

"Pardon me." A third voice spoke. Shibuya froze at the tone and immediately stood aside as Saito walked up, scrutinizing the situation crisply.

"Oh, Usami-san. I certainly didn't expect to see you here."

"Likewise Saito-san." Akihiko replied. Both the guards and Misaki's mouths dropped. The author's hand snaked back and wound around Misaki's waist protectively, bringing him forward and folding him into himself in a gesture of dominance. The teen didn't protest, still shivering at the sight of the mob boss. Saito quickly read the gesture and extended a hand of recompense.

"My apologies, I wasn't aware that particular one belonged to you."

Shinobu, who had been hiding behind the bar counter, saw an opportunity and raced over, hiding himself also behind the author. Akihiko recognized him and placed his other hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"In fact, they both do." The author added.

Shinobu gritted his teeth and resisted with every fiber of his being not to yell "I only belong to Miyagi you douchebag!" But seeing as how his mouth had already gotten him into trouble so many, many times this evening, he resolved for once in his life to shut up.

"That's a pity." Saito sighed. "Are you sure you wouldn't _loan them out_?"

"I apologize Saito-san," Akihiko replied coolly. "But no."

"I see. Well then, I suppose I shall take my leave." The Yakuza spoke. "I still have quite a bit to do before the night is over."

Saito left in short order, taking his thugs with him, and the sight of him leaving flooded both boys with an unforgettable feeling of relief. After the threat to his uke had been taken care of, Akihiko turned to Misaki with a questioning gaze.

"Usagi-san…I—I…" Misaki shivered, his knees buckling from mental and physical exhaustion (after all, it was damn hard to run in heels). Akihiko quickly caught the boy as he sank to the floor, clicking his tongue quietly.

"You can explain all of this to me later Misaki." The author said, supporting the quivering teen.

"But Usagi-san," Misaki shook his head. "H—How on earth are you connected to _that guy_?"

Akihiko rolled his eyes.

"Oh pet, the Usami family is one of the richest and well-known families in Tokyo. Do you honestly believe that we _aren't_ connected to the mafia?"

Shinobu snorted thoughtfully, subtly brushing at the shoulder Usami had touched to cleanse it of any rival seme cooties.

"Come on, you two," Akihiko gestured. "Let's get you home."

"But what about Kamijou?" Misaki murmured.

"Kamijou?" Akihiko replied, his brow furrowing. "You can't possibly mean…"

But his inquiry was answered as he looked over at a large pile up at the other side of the club. Saito had called off his guards to regroup, but not before Hiroki had dealt out at least a dozen black eyes and fat lips. But his alcohol had finally caught up with him and unscrupulously knocked him half unconscious. Nowaki, on the verge of throwing up himself, had his lover's arm draped around his shoulders and was dragging him towards the entrance.

And as soon as Akihiko caught sight of their get up, he promptly burst out laughing, slapping his knees as he doubled over with giggles.

Nowaki let out a heavy sigh and stared back wearily.

"Shut up Usami."

"Oh my GOD!" Akihiko chuckled, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. "Well, come on Kusama. Grab Madam Hiroki and I'll give you love birds a ride home."

In his wasted state, Nowaki was in no mood to argue, and he adjusted Hiroki's arm and followed Usami out. And needless to say, Misaki, Shinobu, and the egoists couldn't have been happier to leave that place if the building was on fire. Not to mention that they vowed never to set foot in there again.

Ever.

* * *

><p>From the front door, Ayumu watched the group walk out, and when Misaki waved a farewell, he waved back. Nana and Kei stood on either side of him, still making sure he was okay. But as Nana absentmindedly scanned the crowds, he noticed something odd about those five people.<p>

"Hey Kei."

"Yeah?" The bouncer answered.

"Have you ever seen any of those guys before? I don't know why but they look familiar to me."

"I haven't." Kei replied. "Though I must say…the drunk one in the red dress has a fine damn ass."

* * *

><p><strong>Hello again dear readers! :) <strong>

**Did I tell you all how squeeful I am at how popular this story has become? Oh you all are just so awesome! ^_^ **

**Well, "The Birdcage" is coming to a close. Probably two more chapters, then the epilogue, then an omake. **

**And thank you all again for having as much fun reading this as I did writing. **

**Kisses!**

**TBF101**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Rabbit Retrospect**

Misaki leaned back against the leather seat of Usagi's car, expelling a tired breath as the Tokyo streetlights passed him by. He sat in the front next to his lover while Shinobu and egoists were crammed in the back. Originally Misaki had offered shotgun to Nowaki, but he had insisted on sitting next to Hiroki, who was all but sleeping on his shoulder. Even still, he was awake enough to notice Akihiko stealing glances at him from the rearview mirror.

"Whadda you looking at dumbass?" Hiroki slurred wearily.

"Nothing," Akihiko grinned. "But let me say, you clean up pretty nice Hiroki. You should go queen more often."

Nowaki sighed wearily, resting his head against the cold window and letting Hiroki take over the argument. But even he was entirely unprepared for his boyfriend's response.

"Akihiko," Hiroki said in a slightly coherent voice. "I'll let you in a on little something. If you _ever_ tell anyone about this, I will get on the train, come to your flat, and I will cut off your penis."

Everyone in the car simultaneously froze at Hiroki's incredibly straightforward threat, and Nowaki tried hard to suppress a smile. Akihiko chuckled coolly, knowing full well that Hiroki probably wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow morning.

In about another twenty minutes, Akihiko drove up to the egoist's apartment building and the two clambered out with as much grace as they could muster. Luckily it was so late that everyone in the building was asleep, so it was unlikely they would be seen in their fetish getup.

Akihiko cast one last look at the two as he pulled away from the curb and showed his teeth in a grin.

"Such a shame I couldn't get a picture of that." He mused with a sigh. Shinobu's ear pricked up at the comment and he leaned forward in between the two front seats.

"As a matter of fact," He smiled. "I happen to have one." Shinobu flipped open his cell and showed Usami the picture he'd taken for Ayumu. Needless to say, the author's interest was peeked.

"Kid," He said, completely business-like. "I would like very much to have that in my personal collection. Name your price."

"Two thousand yen and we stop for food."

"Drive thru okay?"

"Sure."

"Done." Akihiko barked. "Misaki give him my email…Misaki?"

When no answer came, the two glanced over, only to find that Misaki had fallen asleep against the window. Akihiko's eyes softened at the sight of the tuckered out boy, but he also saw an opportunity.

"One more thing," He said to Shinobu. "I want you to tell me what happened tonight. And don't leave out _anything._"

"Why don't you just ask him?" The blonde replied, a little nervous at the author's tone.

"He has the tendency to edit. And I meant what I said, I don't want the finest detail left out. Got it?"

The blonde slightly gulped, but began to spill the events of the evening, starting with his own paranoid idea.

* * *

><p>Misaki let out a light murmur as he awoke, and he was surprised to find himself in Usagi's dim bedroom. He wearily propped himself up and ran a hand through his hair, and immediately noticed that the wig was gone, along with his high heels and socks. All the exertion of the evening made him yawn and he sank back on the pillows, rolling onto his side.<p>

Quiet footsteps sounded from outside the door and he looked up as he heard the doorknob turn.

"Misaki?"

"Usagi-san…" Misaki murmured in reply, resting his chin on his hand. The author came over to the bedside and handed the teen a glass of water, which he drank gratefully. But as Usagi casually sat on the side of the bed, Misaki turned sheepish.

"I—I guess you're wondering wha—what happened…" He stuttered, setting the empty glass down on the nightstand.

"You don't have to explain. I had your friend tell me. And for the record, I _was _at the drag club for research. Aikawa can vouch for that."

Misaki blushed at the disclosure and lowered his eyes.

"Usagi-san…I'm…I'm so sorry…for not trusting you…"

Akihiko sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

"Honestly pet, I can't leave you alone for five minutes without your mind running off in a worthless direction. Though that stupid blonde kid certainly didn't help."

The author shifted over to lie down next to the teen, his fingers tracing a circle on Misaki's cheek.

"Let me tell you something Misaki, I have never been one to give up what is mine. Least of all you."

The teen's eyes lowered, but Usagi cupped his hand underneath the narrow jaw, bringing his gaze back up.

"Are you hurt?" The author asked, and Misaki knew of the events he was referring to. He shook his head.

"That fucker didn't do anything?" Akihiko said, his eyes dangerously dark.

"No…I'm all right."

"Good." Usagi replied. Misaki was about to lie back down, when the author leaned over, still holding his jaw in place. Misaki's eyes widened as Akihiko cast a long lick to his neck.

"Uwaah! Usagi-san! What are you doing?" The teen yelped as Akihiko's hand began to lift up his shirt.

"Why pet," Usagi purred. "Dressed like this I think you would know the answer."

"WHAT?" Misaki screeched as Usagi climbed on top of him and began to suck on his earlobe.

"After all, it's true what they say about Japanese men." Akihiko chuckled. "We are helplessly attracted to schoolgirls."

"WAH! CUT THAT OUT!"

But his protests fell on deaf ears as the author proceeded to make a mess of his skirted boy toy. And even though Misaki was peeved, he also remembered how brave Usagi had been in saving all of them tonight.

He was grateful…or at least, he _would_ be in retrospect.

* * *

><p><strong>Might I say again how awesome all my readers are? :) <strong>

**Annalise Rubisher, Artemis Fortune, JoanIncarnate, Puppyfacetwo, Ricchan14, Seshomaru94, Sarah H, The Lord's Fallen Angel, HellowwTherrre, and my darling Cerberus- You all make me happier than a fat kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Thank you all so much for your support and I hope you enjoy the last couple chapters!**

**With love,  
><strong>

**TBF101  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: A Bra is a Most Massively Useful Thing**

Shinobu stood in the elevator of Miyagi and his apartment complex, riding up to his floor while munching on the last of the snack Usami had bought him. The author had dropped him off just minutes before after the quick stop and even now Shinobu was still plowing through it. He hadn't realized just how hungry he was until the wonderful smell of grease hit his nose and all the exertion of running for his life (and ass) kicked in. Since then, he hadn't been able to part from his newfound friend the sandwich.

A slight grunt slipped out his occupied mouth as a shred of lettuce tumbled down his neck and straight into his bra. Still chewing, he reached down with his free hand and grabbed it, popping it into his mouth with the last bite. The boy silently pondered how annoying it must be to get food stuck in your bra all the time, but then again, it was actually a great place to hide things as well. Since his jean jacket didn't have pockets, Shinobu had actually stuck the cash Usami had given him in there along with his keys and phone. Considering he didn't have real boobs there was plenty of room anyway.

Finished with his food, the blonde crumpled up the wrapping and also stuck down his bra, cocking his head curiously at the now obvious size difference. But then again, it did make them look bigger. No wonder real girls liked to stuff…

_Ding._

The elevator stopped two floors below his own, and Shinobu's eyes darkened as he saw an older man come into the compartment. The stranger immediately looked over the she-boy, and subtly licked his lips, making Shinobu's scowl deepen. Realizing that he still very much looked like a girl (albeit a girl with a lopsided fake rack) and pissed beyond belief at the amount of sexual harassment he had endured in one night, Shinobu quickly skirted out the closing doors and headed over to take the stairs the rest of the way.

But as he climbed, he began to think. Seems like now that he was an attractive "girl" all the men in Tokyo couldn't wait to get their hands on him. Even that mob boss had still found him cute.

Did that mean…that Miyagi would jump him too?

The teen stopped, his cheeks suddenly flushing as he thought that might not be such a bad idea, but then he thought again. What if…What if Miyagi liked the girl look a little _too_ much? After all, he'd had female partners before. He was even married to Risako for a couple months…

Shinobu pressed his lips together at the implications. In spite of all his spunk, being a boy had actually been a great insecurity to him in their relationship. After all, Miyagi had been straight before…so what if…seeing him like this would make him want to…go back?

Shinobu's eyes widened in fear and he ran up the last of the steps, a new plan forming in his mind. If he could just get to his own apartment and change first, then Miyagi wouldn't have to see him like this and things would go back to normal.

Checking the hallways carefully, Shinobu quickly darted to his apartment and fumbled with the latch, opening the door. He closed it just as quickly and breathed a sigh of relief, but then froze as he heard movement in his kitchen.

"You know Shinobu," A familiar voice said casually. "I realize you're a college student now, but don't you think three thirty in the morning is a bit late for studying—"

Miyagi stopped dead as he entered the living room and saw Shinobu braced against the door with a look of complete horror.

"Mi—Miyagi!" Shinobu screeched, his panic exploding. "What are you doing here!"

"You gave me a _key._" Miyagi replied, still staring at the bedazzled boy in shock. Shinobu's anger and embarrassment began to melt into one great puddle of angst, and he pulled at the end of his dress, biting his lip.

"Miyagi…p—please don't tell me…"  
>"Tell you…what?"<p>

Shinobu flushed crimson, his mouth quivering.

"Please don't tell me that you…like this."

Miyagi's bushy eyebrows rose. Shinobu waited on bobby pins and needles for his answer, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Uh…Shibu-chin…why exactly would I…like you dressed as a girl? I mean…I like you as a boy."

"But…why not?" Shinobu stuttered. Miyagi's face turned slightly sour.

"Well to be honest…you kinda remind me of your sister dressed like that…and it's really creeping me out."

Shinobu's eyes shot up and stared in complete gratitude as his partner, and he quickly proceeded to bawl his eyes out most piteously.

"MIYAGI!" He shrieked, racing forward and burying himself in the man's arms. "Miyagi I love you!"

Miyagi chuckled under his breath, giving the boy a pat on the head.

"I love you too brat. Now go wash off that makeup before your mascara runs too much. But don't take off the clothes. I want the pleasure of getting you out of them myself."

Shinobu blushed with excitement and nodded, scurrying off to the bathroom in a hurry. The older man watched him go, his eyes widening in plain shock.

His little blonde lover had just come home looking like he stepped out of _Priscilla: Queen of the Desert_…

Just where they hell did they go?

* * *

><p>Sunlight streamed in through the window as the sun rose, casting a ray of light into the dim bedroom and hitting Hiroki's puffy eyes. The man groaned deeply as his eyelids fluttered open, only to shut again as his head throbbed with intense pain. Hiroki brought a hand to his aching temple as he sat up and slid over to the edge of the bed, but as he glanced into the mirror atop his dresser, he froze in horror.<p>

Wh—what had happened last night? And why the hell was he wearing makeup and a dress!

Still holding his pained cranium, Hiroki turned back to the bed and prepared to yell bloody murder at the passed out Nowaki, when he saw his boyfriend's slutty outfit as well. The professor's cheeks turned as red as lava with shame, fury, and embarrassment as he looked at the fine ribbing of Nowaki's exposed tummy and then at his own reflection again.

And in was in that moment that Hiroki decided one thing.

He was never going to drink again.

* * *

><p><strong>Last official chapter :) Epilogue and Omake left to go! <strong>

**Annalisse Rubisher, Ricchan14, JoanIncarnate, The Fallen Dark Angel, Artemis Fortune, Puppyfacetwo, Sesshomaru94 and thethreeshahls- Aww! I love you guys! Thank you so much for all your support and props! *collective internet group hug of squeeing fangirls ***

**Alexisz- :3 you've made me blush. Oh my god thank you! **

**faucholat- You are FREAKING awesome. I nearly died of a squee stroke when I saw all your reviews in my inbox. They made me so happy and I'm thrilled about how much you loved everything. Thank you! **

**Cerberus Revised- love you darling! Feathery bird nuzzles! ^.^  
><strong>

**Happier than a bird with a french fry/ a tornado in a trailer park, **

**TBF101**

**P.s. Don't you just hate it when you drop french fries down your shirt? Because I do.  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Epilogue**

The rest of the weekend flew by quickly (especially for those recovering from hangovers) and Monday came around, signaling that it was time for the partying college students to start banging the books (rather than each other).

Misaki and Shinobu sat silently next to each other in their algebra class, trying with all their might not to think about the awkward bonding experience they'd had that weekend. Though it was a little hard not to, especially considering Ayumu sat in the row below them, also trying to pretend he'd never met (and dressed up) those two in his life. And in between glances at his inadequate notes, Misaki scrutinized the "normal" Ayumu sans makeup and corset. To his surprise, the teen was still very well dressed in a collard shirt, pale blue sweater, and well fitting jeans, but something else was different. As he sat there, toying with his fountain pen and scribbling, he looked completely vapid, as if all the creativity and passion he had was drained out and put in a bottle unseen by the world. It stirred a sadness in Misaki, and he rested his chin on his elbow, pondering what could possibly put a smile back on Ayumu's face.

The second class was over, Ayumu began to pack up his things in a hurry, fully intent on ditching before any awkward conversations took place between himself and people "he did not know." But Misaki and Shinobu got their stuff just as quickly and managed to cut him off at the door, staring at the floor sheepishly.

"Uh Asazuki-kun," Misaki said, holding out a shopping bag. "You uh, know those…_books_…we borrowed this weekend? We have them for you."

Misaki passed Ayumu the bag full of their borrowed tranny clothes, all of them washed, ironed, and folded neatly. (After all, the rabbit had put them in such a disrespectful state Saturday night that he couldn't possibly return them they way they were.)

Ayumu graciously took the bag, and eyed the tidy clothes approvingly.

"Thanks," He replied. "I have your…_books_…as well."

The taller teen dug into his messenger bag and pulled out a small bag that contained their tennis shoes and street clothes.

"Thank you. That's very kind." Misaki smiled. Having run out of conversation fodder, the group stood stiffly, trying to remember that they were in a public, normal place and not running for their lives in heels. Misaki's lips twitched and he quickly tried to think of something to say, fully aware of how uncomfortable and hollow Ayumu looked.

"Umm Asazuki-kun," Misaki finally said. "I just wanted to say…uh."

Ayumu looked at his watch, only having a few minutes until his next class.

"What I mean is," Misaki murmured. "Thank you, for everything you did. You really saved us, and if there's anything we can do for you, don't…hesitate to ask."

Ayumu's eyes lowered and he shifted his bag.

"I don't know if there's anything you can." He said quietly, his dark eyes sinking lower. He was about to push past them when Shinobu tapped him on the shoulder.

"You know," He said, keeping a cool face. "We like to study at Misaki's place a few nights a week. You should drop by next Saturday."

Ayumu's eyes lifted back up and for a second he looked completely stunned. But slowly, he dipped his chin in a nod.

"Sure…" He murmured. "Oh but I can't this Saturday…"

"Because you're working?" Misaki asked.

"Well," Ayumu said, a flicker of a bashful smile crossing his face. "Yes but…I'm actually…performing too."

Misaki's eyes widened.

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah," Ayumu smiled. "Nana talked me into it. It's just a small solo but…it's something."

"I'm happy for you, Ayumu-kun." Misaki smiled with a slight bow. "I'm sure it would be great to see."

Ayumu cocked his head in brief contemplation.

"Well, we do video tape all our performances, so I could get you a copy…if you want. Somehow I don't think you'll be wanting to come back to the Birdcage for awhile."

"No way." Shinobu said.

"Well, at least…not _yet._" Misaki added. Ayumu smiled.

"Though, you guys should come around this fall. We're putting on an all male production of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ and Nana's playing Dr. Frankfurter."

"Doctor who?" Misaki asked.

"You'll see." Ayumu smiled. "But I have to go, I have class."

"Is it…Kamijou's by chance?" Shinobu asked, a small glint in his eye.

"Actually I had him earlier. Get this, he actually gave me a decent grade."

"You're kidding?" Shinobu snickered. "Think he remembers anything?"

"I don't think so." Ayumu replied. "But, he still has a bit of eyeliner on. It's heavy duty so it won't come off for a few days. Plus I doubt that he has an makeup remover lying around."

The three boys exchanged chuckles before bowing and parting ways. And once again, as Ayumu walked away, Misaki waved to him.

And the tall boy waved back, this time with a smile on his face.

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong>Omake left to come :) And this epilogue is dedicated to each and every one of you faithful readers! Thank you so much for your support! <strong>

**Artemis Fortune, Fauchocolat, Ricchan14, Alexisz, JoanIncarnate, Puppyfacetwo, Seshomaru94- Might I say again how much I love all of you! ^.^**

**HappySunshine29- Mmmmm, cookie dough vodka...yum. **

**Annalisse Rubisher- I know! Can't wait for the new OVA! ^.^ somebody needs to upload and translate it so I can have more cute ukes getting debauched XD Thanks so much for the review! ^.^**

**With love, **

**TBF101**


	15. Chapter 15

**Omake**

Misaki peeked cautiously around the living room before sitting down on the couch and carefully taking Usagi's laptop off the coffee table. He opened the computer and clicked out of the author's windows, making sure to not mess with any of his work. He then reached into his backpack and pulled out an unmarked DVD in a clear plastic case.

It was a full week since his ordeal at The Birdcage, and as promised, Ayumu had given him a copy of the dance he'd performed that weekend. Needless to say Misaki was slightly apprehensive about watching it, especially when Usagi was home. But he had promised Ayumu that he would view it, and Usagi's apartment was better than school, plus he didn't have a computer of his own. He hadn't seen the author since he'd gotten home from school, so there was a good chance he was up working in his office anyways.

Misaki popped the DVD into the laptop and opened the media file, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing himself (or trying to…) for whatever he was about to see.

First thing he saw was an illuminated center stage with a lone figure standing at a microphone. As Misaki peered closer, he could just make out that it was Nana, dressed in a shimmering white kimono. The drag queen bowed, then spoke into the microphone.

"And now ladies, gentlemen, and all those in between, which I'm pretty sure makes up at least 75 percent of this audience—"

Several barking laughs came from the audience.

"The Birdcage is very proud to introduce a new act tonight. Please join me in welcoming this lovely piece of bait: Ayumi!"

Applause and catcalls thundered through the club and the praise quieted as the lights on stage dimmed. A popular techno song started to play slowly through the speakers, and as a tall shadow entered through the curtains it sped up. Suddenly the light cracked on and the applause blared with the music as they feasted their eyes on, as Nana had said, "a lovely piece of bait."

Through the blush warming his cheeks, Misaki privately thought that Ayumu must really like that goth fetishy stuff, because his entire outfit was made up of it. The tall languid teen wore a leather midriff, black studded gloves, a red plaid skirt so short it could hardly be classified as one, a bucked garter belt that was strapped to his long high-heeled boots, and a platinum blond wig that fell to his waist.

The boy began his routine by raising his arms above his head and tossing back some of his wig. And Misaki's eyes grew wide as Ayumi began to dance, strutting around and shaking his trim hips and ass with skillful sensuality. Nana had been entirely correct about the teen, he was a natural, and Misaki could hardly believe (even through his rampant blushing) that this was his first time performing. The audience (particularly single gay men with drag fetishes) was going nuts for the sexy drag princess and as Ayumu tapped around the parameter, he proudly took the tips that were waved to him from the patrons.

The dance only lasted a few minutes, but Ayumi had his audience so captivated that when he struck his final pose, there were several shouts for more along with the thundering of applause. The real Ayumu surfaced at the completion and he gave the club a sheepish wave and blew a kiss. Nana joined his protégé on stage and wrapped an arm around him, his face beaming with pride.

"Well ladies, gentlemen, queens, gays, queers, and everyone else, did you enjoy that number?"

A roar of cheered immediately answered the inquiry.

"I'm glad you all think so," Nana spoke. "Because we have just gotten word from the owner of the club that Ayumi has been officially hired!"

Ayumu's mouth dropped in shock. Nana grinned and kissed him on the forehead, motioning for one last round of applause, which was returned enthusiastically.

And Misaki also found himself smiling as the video came to an end. Ayumu had played a large part in saving them that unforgettable Saturday night, and Misaki believe wholeheartedly that his classmate deserved all the praise he got, and much, much more.

"Hmm, that kid's not bad."

"WAAAAAH!" Misaki screamed as a smoky drawl breathed into his ear. The teen stumbled up in a fright, nearly dropping the computer and falling face first into the coffee table. He scrambled back up and yelped in surprise as he saw Usagi leaning against the back of the couch with a mug of coffee in one hand.

"U—USAGI-SAN! WHEN—I MEAN—WHAT—HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?"

"Most of the video." Akihiko replied dryly, taking of sip of joe. Misaki closed the laptop, staring at Usagi with an expression of horror and fear. What would he say about it? Better yet, how would he take to Ayumu? Having some glimpse about Ayumu's treatment at home and school, Misaki's lips frowned and he full intended to protect his friend's honor, even in the face of pure rich, rabbit disinterest.

"That was that drag club you were at a couple weeks ago wasn't it?" Akihiko commented.

"Yes. I made a friend that night and he wanted me to see his first performance." Misaki answered, waiting for the sky to fall. But his eyes went wide as the author merely shrugged and said.

"Kid's a good dancer. You should hang out with him more often. Have a study night here or something."

Misaki's mouth dropped and he remained in a state of shock for at least thirty seconds before stammering.  
>"Uhh—Are you s—sure you wouldn't…mind? Usagi-san?"<p>

"Not at all." The author replied. "I have some work to do. Call me when dinner's ready all right?"

"…O—Okay." Misaki replied. As soon as Akihiko's back was turned, he flopped backward onto the couch, still flabbergasted. Akihiko hadn't made fun of Ayumu….in fact…he actually wanted them to be _friends_! Usagi-san wanted him to have a FRIEND!

The teen took a deep breath, so happily contented about the news that he thought he would leave the green peppers out of their dinner tonight.

* * *

><p>Akihiko shut his office door behind him, swigging the last of his coffee as he sat down in his office chair. He turned on his computer and clicked to a folder on the desktop, a bright glint surfacing in his eye as he opened a picture file.<p>

His eyes scanned the four people in the photo: a slightly bewildered Kusama on a leash, a raging dominatrix Hiroki, a snooty princess Takatsuki, and a blushing school girl with that familiar embarrassed and simply fuckable expression.

A slight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, and he rested his chin on the back of his hand as he daydreamed of his delectable Misaki in drag.

And if that kid at the club got him in that outfit in the first place, then there was a good chance that that finely strutting teen could teach him a thing or two about shaking his money maker to make his dear landlord a happy rabbit.

Akihiko sighed dreamily, a new idea for a Junai already blossoming in his head.

**THE END.**

* * *

><p><strong>And so my dears, this officially spells the end of "The Birdcage," and I must say again (heck, I'll say it a 10000 times!)<strong>

**THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YO THAEHTGNJDGT YU! XD**

**To be honest, when I first started this story, I expected the reviews to be crap. (Cuz let's face it, most people are here to read smut and fluff and not cleverly worded situational comedy.)  
><strong>

**But I have never been so happy to be proven wrong ^_^  
><strong>

**Artemis Fortune, Annalisse Rubisher, JoanIncarnate, asdfghjklove, Alexisz, Ricchan14, Sesshomaru94, fauchocolat, TripOverFlatSurfaces, yaoifangirl101, Silvermoon of Forestclan, and Junjousekaiichiloveryaoi- *bows with face in dirt * I cannot thank you enough for all your reviews and support. GIANT GROUP HUG AND ETERNAL YAOI COOKIES TO ALL OF YOU! SQUEE!  
><strong>

**Lichielover- :3 *blush* awww thank you! And thanks for the awesome review!  
><strong>

**Puppyfacetwo- RHPS is a weird movie. The first time I saw it I was just like "...da fucck?" the whole time. Thank you so much for your support of this fic!  
><strong>

**Leigh's Last Laugh- WOW! I'm blushing again ^_^ so glad you liked this and your whole review made me incredibly happy! Even happier considering I know what good taste you have in fics :) and that you are a dedicated fan of my dear dog Cerberus. Glad you liked the references. I have a special place in my heart for tranny movies so I had to allude to them. (Especially though with Hugo Weaving ;) though personally I can't get enough of Robin Williams.) I have not seen Kinky boots...*adds to list.* But I am so flattered that you like my comedy and you have my eternal gratitude set to the 1812 overture as well.  
><strong>

**Cerberus Revised- Ah my dear, your reviews are always the icing on my yaoi cake :) and I'm sure you are aware I have a brilliant sweet tooth ;)  
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**I wanted to end the story on a good note for Ayumu and Hiroki for you, but it just didn't pan out since our Hiro-san wasn't the main focus. I kind of wanted their relations to be strained since a lot of times students only see one side of their teachers and I thought it would be more realistic considering Hiroki is a strict one. Ayumu is a very resentful, angsty teen and socially battered kids seem to project their anger onto authority figures they perceive as "unfair."  
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**...So yeah. But I'm sure Hiroki will be just fine...to quote you "Who needs Jesus [insert name of student] when I have Nowaki?"  
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**But I love how you have always been here for me in this fic and your reviews always brought joy to my heart ^_^ Tee hee hee, since you have it all planned out, maybe I'll let you write the sequel and sometime in the future I'll write an original about Ayumu and Nana. But until then, the bird thanks the dog for her bottomless support!  
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><p><strong>Wow, it's been so long since I finished a lengthy story. Not since like Junjou Patronus. But for those of you who like my comedy, rest assured :) my sense of humor never dies and I'll keep posting funnies.<br>**

**Thank you all again for your reviews, favs, subscriptions, and just reading this drabble at all :)  
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**This Flamingo would not be black without all of you.  
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**...okay, that was a really bad metaphor...  
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**With Eternal Love, **

**The Black Flamingo 101 **


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